Years ago, when I first started exploring Spirituality and a deeper connection to internal guidance, I was introduced to the concept of the various ‘Aspects of Self’, that we all have within us.
If you look at archetypical systems, you can find many different versions of this. In different cultures, religions and societal structures. This is the one I first worked with and therefore is easiest for me to relate to. ‘Aspects of Self’ such as the child, adolescent, nurturing parent, indulgent parent, negative ego, healthy adult, etc.
All of these are voices in our head, that depending on the situations or circumstances, come forward and begin to raise their voice. They get our attention and influence our behaviors! Especially in situations where in the past, we were heavily influenced by similar events.
Learning to quiet the noise of our monkey-minds, so we can hear and distinguish how these different voices or ‘Aspects of Self’ present themselves takes focus. We begin to start seeing the patterns that trigger them to come forward. Developing relationships with all ‘Aspects of Self’ is important integration work. It is valuable personal growth work. I know for me it has been a central part of my own process.
YET! Here I am discovering another layer of one of these ‘Aspects of Self’ that I didn’t know was at play!
My adolescent HATES rules. Words such as never, always, should, shouldn’t, must, can’t and have to… send them into rebellious defiance. And man, are they stubborn!
Now mind you, I have had a lot of awareness about this resistance as it relates to organizations, systems and structure. Which is probably where my unwillingness to conform to any religion comes from. (Note: a choice I made as an adolescent!). However these days, I realize my inner-adolescent is at odds with the other ‘Aspects of Self’!
Oh hell.., who am I kidding. I am at war! Internally speaking.
The healthy adult, who I like to think is in charge, has developed very clear ideas and directions for where we are headed. Time has helped define clear preferences. Desires are encouraged. Dreams are fed. It seems as if there is full-alignment with where we are headed. Agreement on how we spend our time and what we prioritize each day.
Except! My internal adolescent HATES that this means there are rules! He HATES that we ‘always do this’ or ‘can’t do that’. And as a result he rebels! He gets manipulative. He gets whinny, petty, and demanding!
Pretty much like I was as a teenager! Ok…, like how most of us were as teenagers! Adolescents push boundaries. They want to get their way. They want to exert their independence.
I get all that. But… this is war against myself. War against all the other ‘Aspects of Self’! Who knew the voice of a teenager/adolescent could be so INCESSANT! (Well…, besides every parent on the planet!)
All of this is to say I am having one of those “layers of the onion” kinda weeks! I realize that as much as I am aware of how to work with the various ‘Aspects of Self’ and these voices in my head. There is another layer that needs (whoops…, trigger word). There is another layer I would like to focus on. Building a stronger alignment with my inner adolescent!
Send me good thoughts as I take on this feisty character!
With Light, Love, and Laughter