Starting to write is harder than I thought it would be. I have enjoyed the cathartic process of writing this weekly blog for over 9 years. But a three month break has been pretty awesome too! It has offered a level of freedom that was unexpected. I am so grateful that Victoria was at a point in her own journey, that she was ready to reveal and share more of herself AND do it in the form of this weekly share.
Thank You Victoria!
I’ve been home for a couple of weeks now. 3 months in San Miguel was awesome and amazing. Studying Spanish and living with a Mexican family along with other students was just what I was hoping for in many ways. But I also realize I went with some faulty expectations. Expectations that I didn’t even realize I had.
About half way through, one of the instructors indicated it would take about 6 months of schooling, practice and experience to really feel comfortable or fluid in a second language. I realized when I heard him say it, that I was expecting that to happen in just 3 months!
After returning home, it’s pretty obvious that outside of the structure and context of going to school.., understanding, hearing and speaking Spanish on a daily basis is much more challenging than in the comfort of a classroom. The classroom offered a great foundation.., but there is still so much to learn! Thankfully Fito is a patient partner… who happens to love Spanish and languages in general!
Stepping out of your life for three months is an amazing opportunity. Changing things up in a way that eliminates all of your current routines, patterns, habits, structures, and comforts (or discomforts!) is a real gift. It shakes things up that you don’t even know need or want to be shaken. Of course, there are all of the things we know we would like to shift or change too!
Take away everything you know.., and you will find yourself anew. And trust me, I completely get that I orchestrated this disruption, versus so many of the people in our lives who have had their worlds turned upside down by circumstances or situations that they would never have knowingly chosen.
Even while I was away, many of my friends experienced major life changes that literally set them on a new path. One that even a few months ago, they could not have foreseen. A rebalancing of their world, with new priorities or focus.
My re-entry into day-to-day life here in Phoenix has followed its own rocky or awkward path. It took me several days to realize that I was trying to re-establish my old routines, as quickly as possible, in order to feel like I still fit in my old life.
The problem is, I am not the same person I was when I left. Many of those old routines no longer work for me. I was trying my damnedest to use what ‘was’ to become comfortable with what ‘is’! It doesn’t work that way.
Of course we do this to ourselves all the time. We look to the past to help us navigate the present or even as a way to predict the future. Yet the truth is that never really works in the long run. We have already crossed that river… We have already learned from it. We are no longer the same person.
And it doesn’t take months for us to grow and evolve. Everyday is a new day and everyday we are a new version of ourselves. Instead of relying on old routines or the way things use to be.., instead lets make a fresh start.