I have to say that this week has been another eye opener for me. I’ve felt almost physically attacked with expressed strong feelings of hate, discord, distrust, sorrow at how people treat one another, lack of empathy or sympathy, and people lying to further their own gain. My heart hurts. What does that say about humanity? Many of you feel energies of others and may be reeling too! How can these turbulent times be navigated when so much is out of our control? 

For me, it really is about conscious choice and conscious living. I can enter the drama and become one of the Actors or create a new story/reality to enter and become the Director. What will it be? Please understand that for many years I mastered the art of “stuffing” my emotions. That didn’t work so well (LOL). In fact, I found by doing this it began to take its toll on my physical body and immune system. Through my meditative time and connection with my High Self and God/Goddess/All that Is I began a few years ago to imagine the times where I didn’t speak my truth and “stuffed” my feelings. 

One night in a semi dream state I saw 6 different vignettes, kind of like a movie screen, so to speak. Each one represented a significant time where I didn’t share how I was feeling about a given situation. It was amazing. I was able to enter each vignette individually and interact in a way that allowed me to change the outcome. Some might call this lucid dreaming. When I woke up the next morning I felt lighter and when I recalled the situations I no longer felt triggered. 

Actor or Director? After the experience I changed from being an Actor and became a Director, consciously choosing to change me! So how does my experience apply to what is happening today? Although these experiences were several years old through lucid dreaming and a conscious intention to express my feelings in a healthy way I was able to change the effect they had on me years later. This technique might be helpful for some of you. 

How have I released feeling bombarded by so much negativity? Although I haven’t used lucid dreaming this week to help heal my hurting heart I’ve been encouraged by the passionate and peaceful activism that has begun at the grass roots level throughout our country. I’m encouraged by the people who are unapologetically stepping forward to express their views along with the people who offer their expertise to help others. I feel hopeful and feel better.

I take time for me to see where and how I can help. I meditate and feel such unbelievable love deep within my heart that my heart no longer hurts. My meditation begins by creating a conscious intention and recognize that I’m part of the whole and not separate from all life. Then I take deep breaths and bring my awareness to my heart chakra. My breathing changes and I begin to settle. My physical body seems to go away and I remain open to receive guidance. At the end of each meditation experience I offer healing for the Earth and all life in all dimensions, galaxies, and Universes.

When I’m finished things look and feel different. I notice the beauty around me. I remember the good things that are happening with my family, friends, neighbors, and the world. I feel grateful rather than hateful. I’m no longer emotionally charged.

I’m in a more centered place to express how I’ve been feeling without being an Actor in the story. Does that make sense? It’s easier to speak my truth and be more authentic. Being the Director of my life is a conscious choice. I believe that I co-create my reality and I own it! Are you the Actor or Director of your life?

I can be reached at VictoriaBarna.com