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Bare with me as I sort through an internal inquiry that I find myself going through lately. I wonder if I am an Atheist. Here is the source of my inquiry… In many of the conversations I have with people, especially those who follow religious teachings, they speak of God as larger, yet more powerful being… One whose image we are created in. God is personified – specifically as a human being (two arms, two legs, walking upright). In many of these conversations, there is an implied city, place, or gated community where when we finally meet or reconnect with God, we will live for eternity. Neither of these (personified or final destination) feels right for me. In much of what I read, see, or hear, there are rules and/or requirements that God has relayed to us that we should follow, otherwise we will not measure up to the threshold requirement that allows us access to be by his (always male) side. It is implied that without his clear guidance about what is right or wrong, we would not have the clear authority or ability to know or understand the difference between good and evil. I am also challenged by that notion. |
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My goal is to keep these musings short, so I won’t continue listing all the things that don’t fit or resonate for me. AND, I want to be clear that I love that each of us gets to choose the belief system that DOES works for us. However, If I can’t relate to God in the ways mentioned above… And an Atheist is someone who does not believe in a supreme being or beings. What do I call myself?
I use the word God all the time when speaking of my own spiritual journey. However, I don’t think of God as a person or even a gender. I think of God as everything… Including the iPad I write this newsletter on. I think of myself as being part of everything… And as a result I am God too. I don’t think that when I leave here I will be going to a place. Instead, I believe that the energies that keep this body animated, will become part of the energies that keep ALL things animated… Both dense physical matter and non-physical. My experience with right or wrong and good or bad are measured by an internal meter. I have always known what felt aligned for me… And I have known what felt off or out of sync for me. I have even done things that I knew were out of alignment for me, usually for the sake of fitting in or some other promise of reward. It is also clear that what is “right” for me, can be very different than what is “right” for my immediate family or closest friends (& visa-versa). I believe that life is a continuum – or a full spectrum if you will. That all of the us are adding to the ongoing awakening of the Universe and that evolving Consciousness is ever expanding awareness of All-That-is. Yet… As I read the news or see the box that God is often put in, I wonder how to relate. Especially to the ones, that oftentimes, claim that their unique view of God is the one way for all of us. If I don’t believe in someone else’s concept of God… Does that make me an Atheist?
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