This is not something that I have shared with many people, mostly because it is really a private matter, but 5 years ago I filed for bankruptcy. I don’t usually talk about my finances with a lot of people, just because it doesn’t come up naturally in conversation. And in someways, since it is not something I ever imagined I would have to do, it feels a bit embarrassing. Or at least it did.
But the reason I want to share it with you now is because I just completed 5 years of monthly payments and filing of “operating statements” for my business as a requirement of the terms. April 5th it was complete (or discharged in their language). And I am so grateful!
On one hand it feels like those five years went by really quickly. On the other, it feels like it lasted forever.
And to be clear, I am thankful it is over and the payments are done. But I am also grateful for the many gifts it brought me. It forced me to be even more intimate with my own business. It inspired me to fight for and keep our home. It also allowed me to transition from corporate life to that of a small business owner and entrepreneur.
It was hard at times and always a stretch. And yet there are ways, that now in hindsight, I realize it has helped me to create a new foundation in my life. As a business owner whose business is almost 8 years old, to not have access to investment money or credit, has been a challenging yet beautiful constraint.
There have been so many ways to grow this business that have had to be done slowly and within the limitations of what the business creates on its own. Products, services, inventory expansion and more. I have been forced (and I use that word intentionally) to be a better steward for this business. I have an appreciation for many of the things in my life, that prior to striking out on my own, I took for granted.
Bankruptcy changed everything. Including how I view myself and bankruptcy in general. I now see it as a significant feat of creation and manifestation. Magic, that in part, allowed me to create the life I have today.
I have always believed that things happen for a reason and they are ‘for us’ and not ‘to us’. Bankruptcy happened for me for many reasons and I could not be more grateful.
AND…, I am so happy and relieved it is behind me! I feel like a caged beast that has now been set free to roam the wild! Who knows where we will go from here!
With Light, Love, and Laughter