I’ve had a couple of very strong reminders recently that it’s ok and better for me to be open and receive help, love, and support from others. Sigmund Freud a Neurologist who is known for Psychoanalysis said, “Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.” As I meditated I asked myself, “What is it about being “vulnerable” that feels so uncomfortable even when it makes me feel better and stronger?” Can being vulnerable really be a super power? I’ve found that suppressing how I feel doesn’t work for me anymore. How about you?
Control comes up for me during my reflection – feeling like I’m unable to control my emotions or how people will respond to me comes up. Wow! What is it about self image that gets in the way? Like many of you I consider myself a private person. I’ve also learned habits and behaviors from working in a corporate environment for many years where it was more acceptable to keep emotions buried, so to speak. I’m not sure if this is still true in businesses today but having been one of few women in leadership roles, at that time, expressing emotions wasn’t acceptable. Our role models were men! That’s been my story.
As I’ve been sitting with the discomfort of allowing myself to feel vulnerable and I thought about what this means to me. Being vulnerable makes me feel exposed and open to being wounded physically or emotionally. Not a good feeling for me. Old habits and beliefs rear up and I wonder, “What will people think of me?” I’m getting better about letting this habit go but it comes up periodically.
Recently I was in a group where sharing was taking place. When it became my turn and I began sharing all of a sudden I felt like I wanted to cry! Yikes! I found myself saying, “I think I’m going to stop talking now because I’m feeling emotional.” Someone asked, “Is what you’re feeling good or bad?” “Neither”, I said. “I don’t like to feel this way!” In other words I don’t like feeling exposed! Everyone was quiet and held space. Fortunately, the people in the group were so loving and supportive. Then someone said, “Why don’t we hold hands?” Once we did we all felt a strong physical and heart connection. Then another member began to guide us through a beautiful healing and loving experience. My tears flowed and I felt, safe, lighter, wonderful and grateful for my release and for these amazing people in my life! I acknowledged that old habits came up and were released. I realized that fear wanted to stop me from sharing. Having the courage to be strong and open to receive their loving support helped me through the experience in a healthy way.
I know that changing a habit or behavior feels scary at first but I find that the more I practice the new one it becomes easier and the old one goes away faster! Yaaayyy! Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, Author, Speaker, and Professor reminds us that, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.” Are you willing to become more vulnerable and experience this super power? Remember, you’re not alone. Allow yourself to receive what others are willing to give through their love and support!
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Gisela and I will be channeling the loving, powerful, and healing energies of the Messengers of Light on Tuesday, March 10, 2020 from 6:30-8:30p. Bring your favorite crystal place it on the grid and have it infused with these powerful energies of love and healing!