Well it has officially started! Last weekend I cleaned my home office to get rid of the clutter. I have known for awhile that there was some shedding and shredding that needed to occur. But boy, was I resisting it!
Most of what needed to be attacked was paperwork, bills and documents. I use to be so organized about all of that. Yet now, I can’t find any interest in it. As a matter of fact, I got rid of years of saved utility bills. Who cared what my electric or phone bill was 8 years ago!?!
I’ve now started on a couple of other areas… And I think I have projects that could last me a few months. However… There is a metaphoric, as well as energetic purpose to all of this. Letting go of the past. Releasing what no longer serves. Shedding old energies that bind me to a time gone by!
No doubt that is why I came across a dozen photo albums. Photos of family, friends, places and events that are long past. Reminders that at one time.., we were younger, thinner, more hair and prone to bad fashion choices! And they were fun times.
So I realize that not everything has to “go”. There are memories and keepsakes that are meaningful and cherished. It is knowing where that line is that is important. Our past is part of who we have and will become. Yet it is meant to be the backdrop of our lives. The scenery that we look back at when we want to remember the path we have traveled so far.
It is not something to be carried on our shoulders and something we drag with us as a burden. One thing I am realizing through this process is that this is where old dreams and desires are stored. Where people, places and things that I thought I wanted or would create – live in memory. To see some of them in the papers, pictures and things I have held onto… Allows me to let them go. I can see how they no longer fit or serve what I am doing or where I am going.
At the same time, I can honor and respect that even dreaming of them, played a part in getting me to where I am today.
I share this with you because I am noticing something else. Originally when I thought about this cleaning up and out process; I wanted it to be FAST! I envisioned bringing in a big shred bin and dumping everything in sight. NOW.., I want to allow myself time to process and experience the letting go. To choose what is old and no longer serves me. To choose what is old and valued as a keepsake or memory.
I know the parts of me that likes complete change. The aspects of self that want a fresh start at any cost. They want change that is rapid and complete. Usually without taking time to shift energetically and emotionally to what comes next. Trust me.., years of experience doing it this way!
Today, I am looking forward to the slower more methodical approach. Taking time to feel what is complete and part of a past that no longer serves me. Acknowledging what is still alive and supportive and serving. And even, understanding the neutral or status quo that is always part of our lives.., even when we think there is nothing but growth and change around us! I am using this metaphorical experience of clearing out and cleaning up to bring myself current.
What will I create from here?
With Light, Love, and Laughter