I am in an amazing space! I continue to be present. I continue to be in a place of contentment. Hovering somewhere in the middle of my life. And I realize the middle is the perfect place to hang out!
I think in some past thought process I might have believed I wanted to spend my time in the top end of life. In the high. That my goal was to always be up! Joyful, blissed out! Yet in this moment, that doesn’t feel quite right. At least not for me.
I imagine the origin of wanting to live in the ‘high’ of life originates with an exercise I did back in 2004. A year of awakening and change. In fact I credit this as the year that I started my personal/spiritual journey.
I was at a weekend workshop where we did an exercise that looked at how we spent our time and energy emotionally.
Each participant had a deck of cards. Each card described different emotions or emotional situations. We were suppose to sort through these card and choose the five that we experienced the most. Which 5 felt the most consistent in our lives.
The five words that I came up with at first seemed awesome! Happy, content, belonging, balance and peace. I was quite pleased that I didn’t have words like anger, depressed, scarcity or fear. But as I sat there in my state of contentment, I stated to notice other words that also weren’t in my five.
Words such as thrilled, joyful, bliss and ecstasy. I knew these words but rarely (if ever) felt them. In that moment I felt a longing. A longing to know and experience these expansive emotions that in that moment felt so foreign.
Of course I learned that if I wanted to feel the expansive emotions, I had to feel their counterparts too. Those emotions that are constricting. You see, working with and accessing your emotions is like inflating a ball. It gets bigger or expands in all directions at the same time. It is never in one direction only!
I definitely had emotions on both sides of the continuum that I was avoiding. I spent a great deal of time and energy keeping my range of acceptable emotions in check! Part of me thought that if I were to access the emotions outside of my safe-range; I would lose control. I had weird thoughts about what experiencing them might be like.
For example, if I was to joyous or blissed out it would jinx the circumstances. I would end up disappointed. Or if I really let my anger out, it would take over and consume me. I imagined I would never NOT be angry!!
That exercise was a pivotal starting point for me. I wanted to develop and expand the access I had to emotions. ALL emotions. As important as this whole experience was, I now think I distorted the exercise. Along the way, I created an impossible hurdle of myself!
I thought if I wanted to experience Joy, Bliss and Ecstasy in my life, that meant they had to be part of the five! That they should be the constant . Not happy, content and belonging… those were the middle! Right!?! I needed to be in a constant state of bliss! Which of course is a set-up. The belief that everything is suppose to be ‘positive’! Which of course then makes any other emotion bad or unacceptable!
In hindsight I think I see the problem. It was never about changing the core emotional energies I experienced! It was that I needed to have the flexibility to access the full-range of emotions. Something I had not allowed before. I had pre-defined an acceptable range of emotions that I thought worked for me. A small range that I thought kept me safe and on track.
When we try to control our emotions or make them fit in a perfect package; they end up seeping out in unexpected ways. Or they end up being so stuffed in to the dark corners of our inner being that we forget where we put them. They become denser and harder to move or work with. They become the dis-ease that eats away at our insides.
I think it is important to develop ease and access to our emotions. To feel the joy, bliss and ecstasy whenever they are available to us. And of course when we have access to them, we experience them more.
We must be willing to feel the constriction and weight of the emotions that are on the other side to the continuum. Fear, anger, grief or dread. These too are real emotions and the relationship we craft with them is just as important. When we experience situations that cause sorrow or loss we need to grieve. Otherwise those unexpressed emotions go somewhere. And.., it is never a tidy little package tucked away in a safe place.
Any of these unexpressed emotions will eat away at you. Sooner or later they will find the weirdest and most untimely places to show themselves. In ways you would never intend.
Today, it feels as if this place of neutrality that exists in the midrange of our emotions is ideal. Some call these the transitional emotions. From here, you have more fluid ability to move with the situations and circumstances of your day. If you develop your emotional fluency, you will move into joy or disappointment with ease. Then move back to your center when you have expressed or experienced those emotions. This is perfect awareness for where I am right now.
I like this place of happy, content and belonging. It is a great base to operate from!
With Light, Love, and Laughter
Charles
Wow, Charles…..it feels like you have had an epiphany in your journey here. I love your quote…it is very powerful and mind-opening. I have always believed our quest here had to do with our emotions. And learning about who we are. One step at a time…
Thanks Donna.Epiphany seems right. I was talking with a friend this morning and realized there was never a time, prior to this that I even questioned my interpretation or perspective around this. Everything in its right time! Glad you liked the quote! 🙂
Well said Charles, as usual. A few days ago I realized that I was feeling a little sad and depressed. Just a little. Rather than push the feelings away or deny them, I just accepted them and allowed myself to feel and experience them, knowing that they would not last forever. Just a little while later I realized that my energy and emotions had shifted and I was “back in the middle,” as you so eloquently describe. 🙂
We are birds-of-a-feather Jere! Birds-of-a-feather! Thank you for sharing!
Someone once said that our emotions are our divinity’s tool to let us know where we have strayed away from our authentic self and the only truth, which is that we are a god/goddess. So when we repress or deny them acknowledgment we set up blocks to our life force energy – our god self/soul – which over time get more dense to the point of causing harm to our physical vehicle [dis_ease].
Emotions need expression and acknowledgment in order for them to be released in a natural way. Key to allowing this is the knowing that you are a god creator, so that when a low vibrational emotion expresses itself within you you can greet it, love it and send it on its way – for you have the knowing that you (your soul) had it created to bring to your attention that you (the ego based physical self) are still holding limiting, unconditional beliefs/thoughts somewhere within you. When dense emotions grab your attention it is time for some inward reflection, gratitude and thank you’s. Then like magic higher vibrational emotions will naturally return to take control for they are the true reflection of your authentic self, i.e. Love. There is no tightrope to walk, middle ground to hold – all is joy and bliss.
Remember, this life experience all hinges on you getting to the point of KNOWING you are God – then everything becomes simple/everything falls in place with ease and grace.
Interesting perspective.
For me there are no bad emotions. Even those you are calling low vibration. Each emotion when truly connected with and experienced without turning it into a weapon like blame, shame or guilt brings us closer to knowing our truest self. They all offer us a glimpse into our depth and vastness. It seems to me that it is when we try to deny them or pretend they don’t exist that we limit our own growth and expansion. That is when we limit our ability to recognize or know that we are the Source.
As always thanks for sharing.