Improvised Dance

My mother is really sick this week. I have no idea if it is some kind of flu or bug… or if it is simply her body in decline and showing signs of weakness and susceptibility. This would be hard to watch at any time, but this week, two of my sisters are here visiting from Maine.

It makes me think of how sometimes our best laid plans, can still go a rye. They have all been looking forward to this visit and spending time together. Especially mom. These are the events she tracks, does a countdown too, and spends time imagining.

It is not what any of us expected or anticipated. To be fair, they still have a week, so I am hopeful they will get some quality and fun time with each other.

Still, it makes me think of how I get locked into how I think something should be and what happens when it doesn’t turn out my way.

First of all, it creates some improvised dance with whatever does show up… Second, there is the mental and emotional fall out that comes from “not as planned”. And as you know if you have been following my blog for the past month or so… ‘planning’ and/or ‘not planning’ is taking up a bit of head-space as I’ve been trying to stay more present.

I have been noticing that because of this recent focus, responding to what is happening in the moment has been easier. Not easy…, because sometimes it sucks.., but easier. To be present to what needs to occur in the moment.

It has me think about where else in my life am I making things harder because I am so locked into “my plan”? I know that frequently.., alright…, almost always, the events that are happening in our lives are a reflection or a microcosm of what is happening elsewhere in the illusion we call our reality. So where am I resisting, persisting or insisting that a given situation have an outcome which is different than what is actually showing up?

I find myself trying to figure out what happens next. Then realizing I can’t know. I can respond to my mothers needs, but I can’t change the way she feeling. I want for my sisters to have a different experience while they are here on vacation, but this is what is showing up (for now).

This is life and things don’t always work the way we want them to… In the meantime, it is more important to respond to what is actually happening and make the most of those situations than it is to spin in circles trying to make it conform to our wishes.

Each of us is experiencing these past few days in our own unique ways. A shared experience that none of us would have planned this way. Yet in the end if an improvised dance is what is called for… that is what we’ll do! I guess it is time to bust-a-move.

With Light, Love, and Laughter


  1. Blessings to you and all of your family Charles ~

    • Thank you Ellen

  2. Charles, great reminder for all of us. My mantra this year has been to just ‘Surrender’ to the moment. I realized after the transition of my son, I truly have NO control over anything except how I respond to any given situation. When I surrender, I give permission for spirit to come and guide me at the moment. My years of trying to control
    occasionally creep in, but ultimately I know that all I have is the NOW, and being present is the best gift I can give myself and others.

    • Thanks Linda… it feels like ‘surrender’ has a new spot in my vocabulary.

  3. Your post brings back a lot of memories, as well as realizations that I am also still resisting “what is” in the moment when it doesn’t match what I hoped for or what I planned. Thank you Charles, and I hope your mom is feeling much better, sooner rather than later.

    • Thank you Vikki.., I know we share a lot in common with this journey.

  4. Charles, prayers for you and your family. The ballet of life has a spiritual conductor with impeccable timing.
    Our family was witness to our 90yo fathers long illness & transition this year. We understand the suffering.
    The journey to the next dimension is full of signs and no coincidences. Watch for them.
    The understandings and teachings from this passage are individual and personal and could come no other way.

    You are blessed to be concious through them.


    • Thank you for sharing your own journey! This is an eyes-wide-open experience and clearly something to stay present to! I appreciate your support.

  5. Oh my this has been a year of many changes for me with my family and guess what there is nothing I can do. I can send love and hope for whatever is in the best interest and highest good for those involved. It is not my job to offer advice if they want it they will ask. After having my ahha moment and wack up side the head with the 2by4 I feel much lighter. Hope your Mom feels better soon and you all get to spend some fun family time together. Blessings

    • Oh those virtual 2X4s! Thanks for your insight and sharing the lesson! 🙂

  6. Blessings and prayers to you and your family. Spirit is always in control. We may wish things were like we envisioned/planned/hoped but the outcome is always right for reasons we may or may not understand. Know that there is a lot of love and healing out there for you and your family. Improvisation is a specialty of all of us in this dance of life.

    • There is so much truth in your words Nancy. Thank you for sharing and caring.


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