“But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.” Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning, Austrian neurologist, philosopher,
author and Holocaust survivor
I was talking to a dear friend recently about loss. I realized that so many people have suffered losses of many things over the past couple of years. There’s been loss of loved ones and friends, relationships, jobs, daily routines and ways of being, health, self-image, changes in physical capabilities, and so much more. How often do we allow ourselves time to acknowledge and grieve the loss? I wonder, “How many of us hold in our feelings of sorrow or don’t even know we are missing the way things were before?” Depending on how you were raised releasing tears may not have been encouraged.
Lately I’ve even thought about future losses and how they might affect me. Have you done the same? I believe that there are many futures so I don’t dwell here but I’ve reflected on what it means to ‘lose’ someone or something – even losing physical capabilities. Things like flexibility, balance, vision, diminished energy and stamina, and memory. I have family members, friends and acquaintances that are experiencing some of this right now. At one level I see all of this as part of the cycle of life. I’m blessed to see new life created and I’m encouraged to live everyday to the fullest and be the best me I can be. At another level, a deeper level, I wonder why the feelings of loss are felt so deeply.
As I’ve reflected on this and had conversations with others I found that some people believe loss and grief are based in fear. Hmmm. “What is the underlying issue?” I wondered. Loss of love came up. We fear most losing love whether a loved one or something else. That resonates with me. Hilary Stanton Zunin, English teacher has said, “The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief – but the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love.” Something to think about, right?
Love is who we are at our core and love will never be lost yet it’s our human feelings that deny or allow us to fully express love and its perceived loss. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Swiss American psychiatrist identifies 5 stages of grief. They are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It’s ok to be where you are if you are experiencing one of these stages. You’re not alone. You will move through them at your own pace and please recognize that there are others who can help if needed.
Helen Keller, American author, activist, advocate, and lecturer has said, “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” So beautiful to remember. Please remember, even in your hours of sorrow, that you are loved and not alone. Focus on and celebrate ‘what was’ and become more open to what can and will be if you choose. Express your feelings in healthy ways so that your physical body and relationships don’t suffer. Sending lots of love to each one of you!
I am available, for private intuitive coaching sessions at Storm Wisdom on Tuesdays from 1p – 6p by appointment or if you would like to connect with me or schedule a channeled private session on Tuesdays and explore becoming more of who you are, please call Storm Wisdom (602)334-1204. I am also available by phone or Zoom on other days. To schedule go to victoriabarna.com.