Have you ever felt like you were a fish hooked and fighting for your life? It sounds dramatic, but when you are caught up in the struggle and drama of someone else’s narrative and you are fighting for your own perspective; that is how it feels!
This is not my normal way of operating or even the kind of situation I have a lot of experience with… Yet, right now, I have several of them going on all at the same time! So I know it is cosmic or an important opportunity for something new to emerge.
Right now, ALL of the situations I am thinking of have to do with money. Investments going south. Situations changing without any input from me or some of the other people involved. Someone else working hard to have things their way, at my expense. It kinda sucks!
When we first encounter these disruptions in our world, they feel isolated. Each one is approached, evaluated and addressed as if it is unique. At least that is how it is for me. I become aware that something is happening, I feel threatened, I start to resist and look at how to keep things the way they were before I got hooked. But the more I resist, the deeper the hook goes! Now I am in a fight for my life. Or at least, that is how it feels while I am trying to tug my way to freedom. Then another (similar) situation is added to the mix and it feels overwhelming.
My logical mind attempts to figure it out. I spend a lot of time analyzing and evaluating how this could be happening. I immediately start to imagine the impact (Always devastating!) or how I might stop the loss or influence the outcome! If I am being honest, I also start fantasizing about how to get even!
Then slowly as I realize it is out of my control… My emotions have taken over! Anger, indignation, surprise, fear, entitlement, disbelief. Take your pick.., I run through them all.
Then this combination of thoughts and emotions starts to feel as if the life I know is being threatened. And like a fish on the end of the line, I start flailing, darting, tugging, resisting and fighting to get free!
Until somewhere in the back of my mind, I hear the whisper of inner guidance. A quiet voice that invites me to look at these situations as an opportunity to see something new. What am I trying to control? Do I have a belief (or beliefs) that feels limiting? Is there something I am trying to show myself that these situations will help me focus on and understand? If everything happens for a reason, what are the higher reasons for these situation?
Once I slow the situation down, and I recognize that all these situations have to do with my relationship to money; it helps me realize that something is challenging my sense of safety and security. Energetically this means that the Root Energy Center of my body is constricted or I am sensing something around me that is out of balance or off! So my first step is not to fight and resist the details of these external situations. It is to get back to my own personal center and find that sure-footing or place of stability that I know so well. From there, I can look at these situations and choose where to focus my attention and more importantly, my energies!
Guess what? I decided to stop fighting and resisting. These situations will work themselves out. Maybe I will loose an investment. Maybe an opportunity that looked promising will disappear. It is possible that someone else will get what they want and need out of a situation that I had personalized as being “for me”. Maybe it was ALWAYS for their benefit and I was simply a player in their creation.
Regardless of how these situations play out, it does not prevent me from creating new opportunities. I have to remind myself that these situations do not define me. Only I do that, based on how I allow them to influence and affect me. So I choose to be creative, resourceful and whole.
It doesn’t have to be money, for others it might be relationships, health, career or something else entirely. How about you? Are you hooked by someone else’s drama or by a situation that is pointing you in a new direction? One of my beloveds reminded me of a great Polish idiom, that is helping me see these situations in a new light! “Not my circus, not my monkeys”… Or in this case maybe I should say… ‘Not my pond, not my fish’!
With Light, Love, and Laughter
Charles, Very interesting… I just finished designing and presenting a seminar on the drama triangle last week… personal empowerment & the ways we give our power away by becoming either a victim of someone else’s broken promises, a rescuer of someone else’s feigned inability to handle their life or fulfill their commitments to us, or persecuting or judging someone who disappointed us in some way. In the communications field, we talk a lot about the C[s of communication… communicated, clarified, confirmed… and the fact that most of our disappointments in life are a direct result of expecting others to do what they cannot, will not, and never agreed to, or agreed to under duress with no intention of fulfilling the agreement. Last week, my students in my guided meditation class reviewed the concepts and then did a meditation where they brought into their sanctuary and on their mental screen, the people who are affecting them in that way and used one of several techniques to release the ropes that bound them to those persons, examine whatever lesson was there for them, and take back their power. That doesn’t mean that behavior includes the functional side of partnerships and team building… such as being vulnerable, surrendering to the team, making observations about people’s behavior and how it affects the results they say they want, partnering with others to accomplish a goal one cannot accomplish on their own. We dealt with the dysfunctional side of the drama triangle, where people can sometimes end up being a victim or being persecuted or left holding the bag when trying to rescue someone else. Anyway, long story short, your experience is NOT uncommon; it’s a universal phenomenon… literally this is one of the major topics covered in the thesis I wrote on task-oriented team building where I identify the 5 major sources of organizational conflict and their resolutions. Charles… again, as always, if you ever want another ear to run an idea by, I’m here for you. Darla
Thanks Darla… And thanks for sharing your insights and perspective. I appreciate it.
We are all living inside our own story. I guarantee that if the plot doesn’t thicken or tangle with another often, then we will create a conflict to make our story more interesting. I strive for peace but still entangle my vibration up with another’s because it’s f.u.n. to do more, be more, to serve as teacher and student all at the same time. “Interesting” is my go-to word when I realize what I AM doing.
Oh, you mean being responsible for our own reality creations?? 🙂 You said a mouthful… And I needed to hear it! Thanks for your insights… I appreciate it!
Charles, Great post and very descriptive. I’ve been riding through similar experiences since my husband’s health crisis had him repeatedly in the hospital most of last year. The multiple experiences (in a 3rd world country) took the wind from of both his and my sails.
Then, as i would begin to feel a restoration of personal balance and start returning my attention to projects, something would occur that would leave me feeling my sail folding, a loss of momentum, and tranquility drifting away. Like you, I found the answer was to step out of the emotional whirlpool. Emotions only distort spiritual vision. I looked for the common link and found it was a fear of loss of freedom. Addressing one spiritual issue instead of chasing all the ensuing dramas it creates makes life a lot similar. ~Malana
Thanks Malana for sharing the deeper truth about loss of freedom. I had a very inspiring meditation a few weeks ago, where I was connected to the beauty and importance of freedom.
So sorry to hear your husband has been ill and in a health crisis. I hope you are both doing much better these days!
I often find myself these days wondering how money got so danged important in my life–saving it, making it, trusting someone else to invest it, losing it, stressing over it, and so on. A friend recently told me that she believes money is simply another form of energy. I’m going to try that on for size.
I keep reminding myself that of all the stuff that is ‘made-up’… Money is the biggest illusion. It doesn’t actually exist without man creating it. So why are so many of our struggles, challenges, fears, and even dreams and desires based on an illusion? Energy exchange! That’s a much more palatable way to look at it! Thanks for the reminder!
Thanks for sharing. It’s so nice when you are finally free of drama. It helps when you are aware of the tornados and not only step to the side, but also not get affected by the chaos; recognizing the beauty in other people’s developmental paths.
I have to remind myself I am the one keeping it alive or intensifying it based on my emotional investment! Stepping aside is a good thing, I hope to recognize and do this sooner! 🙂
I have never written a reply before but just want you to know I so enjoy and look forward to your newsletters because of the sincerity and honesty of them. You are not afraid to let your feelings show and I so respect that and honor that . That is very brave of you! I don’t like when people criticize you for your honesty, as it reflects on their insecurities. Thanks for what you do. I get so much out of them.
Thanks Ronnie! I really appreciate you taking the time to send and share your thoughts. It means a lot, and as a result of writing and sharing each week… I find that I am in good company with others who are or do experience similar ups and downs and who look for the opportunities to learn and grow from each of them! Thanks for hanging in there with me!