Over the past few months I have written on more than one occasion about letting go of the need to ‘pursue’ enlightenment, awareness, awakening, expansion, higher consciousness or whatever else one might call the goal of personal or spiritual growth.
This of course is also prefaced by the distinction that I am talking about the pursuit of something (or anything!) that will fix me, make me complete or somehow comes from an energetic place of “less than”.
You see, many of us are hungry to connect with the more spiritual aspects of our lives. Which at least for me, means connecting with our Highest-self; our own internal compass and guidance. It means ensuring that we rely and trust this internal knowing more than anything that is external to us! Spirituality is about sensing, feeling and knowing our connection to everything around us. To All-That-Is.
For me, what I started to realize is that I became addicted to the pursuit. When I first started participating in retreats, workshops, classes and experiences that were designed to connect us with this deeper relationship with Self, I was so moved and enlivened, that all I could think of was wanting more! Being someone who loves to learn, this pursuit was intoxicating.
Not only was I learning about tools, practices, techniques and methods for connecting with my intuition and the ability to sense and experience the energies of people, places and things. I was uncovering old and usually limiting beliefs that no longer felt right for me. I began to identify emotional blocks that had been securely anchored; that now wanted to be released. My life was changing, as much by what I was letting go of as it was by the the new things I was learning! In many instances, it felt like a process of remembering who I was before I started collecting these woundings or beliefs about myself, others and the world in general!
So you can see why this might be addicting. And how the focus of pursuit would or could take over. For me, it became about finding as many ways as possible to shift who I was, how and what I was creating in my life, and who I was becoming. But I also ended up overlaying this with the sense that there was something wrong with me. Something that I needed to fix. Something that wasn’t complete. Somehow I took my pursuit of spirituality and turned it into problem that needed to be solved!
Now… Things feel different.
I still want to learn. Not because something is missing or wrong. But because it is fun for me! I like learning and connecting the dots!
But.., Mindfully setting down the pursuit of something that will “fix me” has been enlightening! In many ways it has allowed me to recognize that all along the Universe has been conspiring to create the situations that will lead and support my deep desire for truth and awareness of Self. If I am not in pursuit of the next ‘thing’.., they show up anyway! Instead of burning up my energy trying to figure it out; I can simply dance with what shows up! Be in the moment.
Then I get to tap into this deeper connection with Self, my intuition and my ability to sense and feel energies to decide what is right for me in each moment! I get to live my spirituality versus pursuing it! Do you get the distinction?
I love classes, workshops, experiential learning, meditation and sound or vibrational healing experiences. I love all of that. I just want to choose the ones that resonate or feel fun. If I get even the slightest hint that it feels like I am interested in one of these experiences because without it something is wrong with me… Then I let it go! That is an old and outdated belief.
Besides, have you noticed; if we need to shift or change something in our values, attitude or beliefs, the right circumstances and people show up right on queue! That is how life is when we recognize we are an integral part of All-That-Is.
With Light, Love, and Laughter