I like to think of myself as a positive upbeat guy. My goal is to see the good in life. Embrace situations for what they are and what they offer. I live with the motto everything that happens is ‘for us’ not ‘to us’.
But boy, do I have an active internal whiner!
When I get this way, I am not usually aware of it right away. Instead, I let it go on for awhile. I imagine I am trudging uphill in lead boots. Everything seems like an effort and the things I am trying to create seem elusive. Nothing seems to be working out! At least not the way I want them to.
Somewhere along the way I begin to whine. Not necessarily to others.., but definitely to myself. Oh crap, who am I kidding… I whine to others as well. It is not my intention.., but when we are feeling something on the inside.., it is usually seeping out somewhere.
I think I am a master at hiding these things! In fact for years I prided myself on my ability to perform for others. That somehow I could be all things to all people. If you can relate, then you know that type performance is all about “control”. One of the biggest illusions in life… control.
So my whining has been seeping out. I am sure.
The thing about whining is it gets old. It gets boring. It eventually becomes less subtle and even I have to acknowledge that ‘whining’ is where I have been hanging out! Damn it!
So now that I am aware of this (again!), it is time to let it go. Time to get with the program and get present with myself. If I stop whining.., what is possible? What naturally wants to happen? If I am not focused on what ISN’T working.., is there something that is? Or is there something new that wants to emerge?
I hate to say it, but I love when the veil of limitation begins to lift. Because that is what usually gets me hooked. The feeling of limitation. Something I want to do; a place I want to see or experience; something I want to create; yet it is just not happening or working. Not getting what I want makes me whine! Yuck!
And aren’t all of our limitations in our head? It may appear that others are involved or are creating the limitations. But is that ever true? Aren’t we just stuck on doing or getting something our own way? As if there is only one way (My way!) to accomplish that thing.
I am happy for the end of this year. Not because it has been a bad year. But because it has given me the opportunity to think about what is coming to an end and what new wants to be created. It is this reflection and contemplation that has made me aware of the funky energies I have been hanging out in. It is what has made me realize how much whining has been happening in my head.
As I think about it now, it seems funny! I have an amazing life. What’s there to whine about?
As this year comes to a close, I hope you take the time to reflect on what you are creating. What you are completing. What new is and/or wants to emerge? These natural endings and beginnings hold powerful reflections and insights. Take advantage of them while they are here!
With Light, Love, and Laughter