What We Resist

Sometimes I am amazed at how long it takes for me to absorb or learn a lesson! I think of myself as a intelligent guy. So, what’s the deal with being so slow to comprehend a concept? Here’s what I am talking about: What we resists, persists. I have heard this for years and felt like “I got it”. Don’t hold onto negative thoughts, replace them with positive. Look for the good in a situation.., find the lesson. If something feels difficult, let it go, find the flow. Lots of versions of the whole resist/persist thing! However, lately I have been seeing how this permeates our culture and how I buy in to it… Almost every time! We have created a culture that pits us against one another. We cherish taking sides or holding onto a position. We have crafted an environment where fear drives our behavior. Where we respond by protecting our position, our side. The best examples can be found in news and politics. Take anyone of the major issues – war/peace, abortion/choice, marriage equality/traditional marriage, immigration reform/border protection, GMO/natural seeds or food, finance reform/deregulation, republican/democrat, gun control/freedom to bear arms and the list goes on. These have been turned into all or nothing positions or sides, that we have to choose and then defend. And in each of these situations… There are groups making a ton of money, by using fear to keep us stirred up. To keep us invested and on a given side. AND, I buy into it every time! OR… I did. Not long ago… I stopped reading the news. I stopped watching...

Adventure (Part 2)

I’m back from my solo retreat in Pine, AZ! It was perfect, and completely different than what I was expecting! I realize in looking back or in hindsight, that I have a tendency to make these events into a destination. This is instead or recognizing that they are actually a part of the journey! I imagined that when I “checked-out” of my life for a week…, that I would come back a changed man. The truth is that is too much pressure to put on to any event, person or situation. While I was there, life slowed down. Nature has a way of showing us how crazy we make everything. Rushing from appointment to task, to activity and beyond. Most of us live crazy, hectic lives! I know I do! Each day new things were revealed. Perhaps the truth is that many of the things being revealed, weren’t new… They were things that were already part of my awareness, yet I had not taken the time to connect with them. To process them. Each day felt unique unto itself. What was present and occupying my thoughts one day, were gone the next. Many times what was revealed, created a review of areas or aspects of my life. I saw things that I wanted to change, things I wanted to release and others that I wanted to step into more fully. I found that I like myself and who I am! I also saw a few things that I would like to change. I recognized that there are ways that I am not very loving to myself. I also found...

Solo Retreat: Day 1

Today is my first day at Spirit Sky… A solo retreat for 6 days.  The cabin is located in Pine AZ… About 20 miles beyond Payson.  I have never been in this area before.  It is quite beautiful.  It is a much higher elevation than Phoenix (approximately 5500ft), which means it is cooler here.  Today when I left Phoenix at about 11:30am, it was already about 90 degrees.  The temperature when I arrived here at the cabin, was about 74. It is not what I expected, and it is still perfect.  Somehow I had imagined being in a location where no one was around for miles… Isolated on a hilltop.  The truth is… It is 4 acres on a hilltop that has a home being built about 50 yards away, and one roofline just over the crest of the hill… And a cabin/home that is not quite visible below. I think I imagined in my mind that the isolation would intensify the experience.  It would offer a level of freedom that would allow me to tap into some primitive or untapped energies.  A vision quest of sort… Out on the land, surviving in the elements and by my resourcefulness.  AND… the truth is, that is not what I am doing.  I am spending a week, in a comfortable cabin, with amazing views, surrounded by nature (I saw my first deer coming up the drive… And my first elk shortly after dinner, right out side the cabin!) I come with very little.  I kept trying to sneak in projects… And you have no idea how much I wanted to bring...

Solo Retreat: Day 3

This mornings grid is for “Fun”.  The components are confident, stimulating, guided, flowing, foundational, natural, abundant, prosperous, mind, body, spirit. Initially when I awoke, I was feeling as though maybe I was sinking in or settling into this solo retreat thing.  However, as the day wears on, I think instead maybe it is my mind, or more accurately my ego, playing a game with me. I find myself having thoughts about how I have already got what I needed from this experience… And perhaps it would be okay to go online… Maybe download a book.  At one point I was thinking about exploring Pine. It took a bit for me to notice what was going on and to realize that this is uncomfortable.  I am not sure what do do with myself, if I don’t have something to do.  I can even find resistance to the mundane or chores… Folding my clothes, making the bed, that sort of thing.  It is as if there is a voice inside my head saying… You can’t make me! It is interesting to catch this… As I think this is something that happens all the time.  Our egos are resourceful… And they have different tapes or recordings they can pull out when the current message begins to lose its affect, keeping us in line or, from the egos perspective, safe. For the last two days I have been very aware of (because my ego has been talking to me about) my weight, energy level and health.  Today… (The message from my ego is that) Everything is fine and I don’t have to stick...

Solo Retreat: Day 4

My crystal grid this morning is for Harmony.  The components these crystals represent are Harmony, entrainment, flow, spectrum, balance, steady, ease, elegance, negotiation, uplifting and resonance. Today my retreat is starting out as a bit of a surprise.  Even though I have tried to remain open for what this experience would bring… I realize I did have a few expectations or assumptions. I thought by giving myself this time, I would sink deeper into myself and start to see or recognize patterns, triggers, behaviors and such.  You know, the ones that make life complicated or seem to get in the way of me having things the way I think they should be!  Boy, is that a mouthful! However, my experience is just the opposite.  I find it hard to focus on anything… It just doesn’t seem that interesting!  My mind wanders… However, it doesn’t go to what is wrong… Instead, my eyes are drawn to beauty.  There are much more than elk here!  Now, don’t get me wrong… I don’t think this is a bad thing.  It just seems like maybe I spend to much time worrying about the wrong things… Actually anything! Even as I write these words, I realize I spend a lot of time trying to control outcomes!  Here there is nothing for me to control.  If I want to sit by the stream, I do.  If I want to lay down, I do.  If I feel like making some notes on my iPad.., guess what?  I do. Now mind you I still have a few days here and plenty more could be revealed.  However… Nothing...

Solo Retreat: Day 5

Crystal grid for today is “Releasing Anger”.  The crystals represent the following… Discovery, comprehending, contemplation, expression, learning, savor, own, release, breathe, allow, adjust. I went to sleep last night knowing that there was something brewing.  Something that wanted to reveal itself, that had gone unnoticed.  This morning, I think I know what that is and it the reason I chose the particular grid for today. This may be a bit had to convey properly, because I don’t want to leave you with the wrong impression.  So let me start by saying up front… I love being gay and I love the Spiritual Being that I am. Yet last night, I was aware that I was angry about both! The other thing that I realized as I sat with this, is that when I trace the anger back or try to find who I am angry with… It is God.  Which of course makes me aware that in this instance… I am thinking of God in the Christian sense.  Old bearded white guy sitting on a throne somewhere. So this is my first clue that this anger is being held by my adolescent-self.  And he doesn’t think God played fair!  Life would be so much easier if I didn’t have to deal with being gay, or connecting to my spiritual journey in a unique way!  If I could just look and be like the majority… If I could conform… If I fit in… Life would be easier! I think one of the things that reminded me of this was yesterday I was doing a video blog.  I heard myself say,...

Solo Retreat: Day 6

I am going home later today.  The last crystal grid here at Spirit Skies is “Contentment”.  The crystals in this grid represent Contentment, breathing, relaxation, joyful, peace, stability, belonging, communication, decisive, and beauty. It is interesting to be thinking about leaving.  There are parts of me that are ready and can’t wait to be back at home with Fito, my amazing husband, our dog Archie and to just sleep in my own bed!  There is so much I appreciate about my life… Perhaps even more as a result of stepping away from it. There is also a part of me that is in fear that I won’t be able to hold on to the piece and tranquility I have found this past week.  That some of the clarity and resolve that was found so easily here in nature…, will be lost in the day-to-day grind that is our lives. Just sitting with this today makes me aware that once again, my mind wanted to make this retreat a destination, and not simply part of the journey.  I can see how I had invested a lot of energy into thinking that this retreat would “change” everything that felt out of alignment.  That my problems would be solved and I would have clarity of direction. The truth is… We all probably need to give ourselves a week, once a year to de-stress!  We need to find a way to slow down, check out and let our minds clear.  This is not a destination… This is PART of the journey.  The gift of time to ourselves is priceless. I leave here more...

Count Your Blessings

Another year under the belt..! How fun to gather and celebrate four years of being a part of and a gathering place for this spiritual community! I am always amazed at how celebrating a milestone, be it birthday, anniversary, birth, death, or any other significant life event, creates a deeper awareness of the journey we’ve been on. I hadn’t spent much time recently, thinking about our 3rd Anniversary celebration… Until setting up and experiencing the 4th! For the past couple of days, it has been front and center in my thoughts. Maybe some of it is comparisons. How the food, drinks, decorations and entertainment were set-up. Who was participating.., who was not. Yet, the bigger awareness is what a different place I am in emotionally, mentally and even physically. I had very clear memories of how stressful it was going into our third year. It was not unusual to be wondering (in fear), if we would even survive as a business. Would it become profitable before my personal resources were drained. Worry, fret, worry, fret. This year… That has energetically moved on. It is not the sort of thing that I burn brain cells on. How fun to come to this realization. How thrilling to realize that it is simply an old story. It’s perfectly in its place, as a story from the past… One that doesn’t need to be relived or kept alive. A memory. This reflecting on the past also supports looking to and imagining an even more amazing optimal future! If everything can shift so dramatically in a few short months… What else is possible?? Something...

Judith

There is change afoot. It is time to celebrate and time to reflect. We are preparing to celebrate the 4th Anniversary of becoming “a center for intentional living”… the birth of Storm Wisdom. So, it is easy to focus on how different it feels now, than when we first opened our doors or any of the annual celebrations we have hosted since. It is a magical time for us… yet there is also a bit of melancholy too. You see, when I was inspired to create Storm Wisdom, I was woefully unconnected with the spiritual community in the Phoenix area. I had been doing a lot of my own spiritual growth work through seminars and retreats offered by “Lucid Living”. However, most of these were held in California, Mexico or Canada. (BTW… Lucid Living has an all new membership website, offering their amazing teachings and materials at www.LucidLiving.net). Which meant I had a strong community of support. Just not here in Phoenix. However, as I would tell people about my dream of what I wanted to create, they would tell me about places in the valley, where they thought someone was doing something similar. “Angel’s Serenity”, “Lightworker’s Gifts”, “Rainbows from Heaven”, and “A Peace of the Universe”, were all places that people pointed me towards. The first time I went to “A Peace of the Universe”. They were closed! It was a Monday. As I stood outside the door of this well-hidden space, I thought to myself… “I don’t know how long they have been open, but they will NEVER survive in this location! I had driven around the...

Changing the Past

Process, process, process! It seems that everyday there is a new awareness for me in my ever evolving journey toward enlightenment! More these days, than ever before, the lessons, language, messages and insights are starting to come together in a way that might make sense. IF… I pay attention or at least stay open to all that is unfolding. This week, I have been witnessing old behaviors and coping mechanisms. They reveal how they have hindered my personal desires for shifts and change… with the realization that they have been with me for a LONG time. These are the ways that I thought I was coping or even growing in the context of some situations. In reality… Not so much! Let me describe a couple that have come up this week. The first is replaying or rerunning a situation or conversation over and over in my mind! Most of the time, when I catch myself doing this, I am aware that it has been going on for awhile. By the time I catch what I am doing… I am emotionally on edge. I feel tense or angry, frustrated, martyred, or.., (any number of other feelings)! This week, I found myself reliving an e-mail I received 6 or 7 years ago! In the e-mail a manager from another area in the company, basically said some things that felt disrespectful. And my boss who was copied on it.., responded in a way that felt like my options for retaliation were limited. So here I am, years later still crafting the response that would make me feel superior. The response that would...

Birds of a Feather

As I sit here contemplating where to begin, my mind is drawn to the past. In times like these, when I sense or feel change coming my way.., one of the things I am aware of, from my past, is impatience! I guess I always considered myself a “change manager”. Mostly because the changes that I was aware of were external (moves, relationships starting or ending, new jobs, mergers, etc.). So, my goal was to get in front of the situation and attempt to control the outcome or impact of the change. My impatience came from being able to see the vision of what I thought would be the best outcome for me AND doing everything I could to ensure it happened my way! And yes… I know how arrogant and self-serving that sounds. It is also true. However, if like me, you believed that these changes were inevitable.., then why not maximize the return on your investment of time, money, love, boredom, location, or <fill-in-the-blank>! It was always a very calculated process. A game if you will, and I was impatient to see if I was going to get my way… if I was going to win! Fast forward to this time in my life… What happens when the changes that I feel coming are internal ones? What do you do, when there is no vision of what is to be… When the change is not a job or relationship or move? What happens when the change is “how you live, breathe and walk around in your own skin”? It is hard to be impatient for a change...

Blocks That Matter

Earlier this week, I was working with a crystal (Picasso Jasper), in preparation for a workshop. The properties of this particular crystal were stimulating creativity, dissolving blockages to our creativity, and helping to move beyond excuses! What has really stuck in my mind was the awareness… That we only create blockages for the things we really care about or that “matter” to us! Isn’t that profound? On one level I know this so well. On another, it makes it so clear that each day the things we spend our time and energy on, are the things that we manifest! You see we all have ideas, dreams, desires, hopes, visions, images, and thoughts for our possible futures. However it is the ones we continually revisit or where we invest our thoughts and emotions, that we are creating. If you have a thought.., (You see a cute puppy, and you think… Wouldn’t it be fun to be surrounded by puppies all the time!?!) and then the thought is gone. You may have planted a seed, however that does not mean anything will ever grow from this. However, if you have such a strong connection to animals and can’t see or imagine yourself doing anything other than caring for and being surrounded by them… That is a different scenario altogether! Then you begin to see animal related opportunities all around you. Your behavior around them has other people take notice. Caring for and interacting with them becomes a part of your conversations. Others who are drawn to animals take notice and start to share their own stories and connections with people and...

SBNR

Over the past couple of months, and then again this week, I have read articles about two varying sides of a debate. The subject is people who define themselves as “spiritual, but not religious”, or SBNR for short!. To simplify it… It goes something like this: People who are religious, believe that people who claim to be spiritual, but who don’t belong to a particular religion, lack the fortitude and discipline it requires to follow the tenants, expectations and guidelines of religion. As a result they lack the guidance and structure to have a strong moral fiber… and as a result, can be easily thrown off course and succumb to earthly temptations! They end up doing bad things because they don’t have the structure of religious teachings behind them. On the other side of this debate about SBNR people are the atheists who believe that people develop their moral fabric through family, community and education. They believe the decisions made between right and wrong or good and evil are part of each individuals character. They have a notion that the person who describes themselves as SNBR, is an atheist who is afraid of social disapproval or is someone who wants the “theoretical benefits of faith, including hope of eternal life, without the obligations of actually practicing a religion”. There was even a recent study out of England that theorized that “People who have a spiritual understanding of life in the absence of a religious framework are vulnerable to mental disorder.” ( Michael King, a professor at University College London). WOW! Once again, I find myself in the middle of...

It’s All About the Reframe

Oh my goodness… What an interesting and introspective week! It has been all about “the reframe”! You see, sometimes we (okay “I”) get caught up in the circumstances of our life. We start linking events, promises, people, situations, desires, challenges and all kinds of stuff together and we start sending messages to ourselves and building a story. Sometimes it is a great story and it is perfectly aligned with what we want to create in our life (at least for awhile). Other times… Not so much! The problem is once we start telling ourselves these stories… They become real. We know they are real because we have already assembled all the evidence and proof! If you’re anything like me, then you also have this keen ability to associate this new story to old ones you have told in the past… And suddenly you not only have a current perspective.., you also have confirmed, you have a pattern! Maybe these pattern are a good thing, when they have a positive impact. Something like… “Things always work out perfectly when I put my mind to it” or “Wow, it is easy for me to attract exactly what I need!”. What happens when the message we are giving ourselves, doesn’t feel positive? “See… It is hard to stay focused, I never create what I want.” Or “this has always been a weak area for me, there is nothing I can do to change it,”. Or one of my favorites… “Everything I have done was wasted… I am back to square one!”. When we are telling ourselves these stories, it can be challenging...