I am obsessing right now with this idea of living as the me I am becoming – not living based on my past! I know there is something powerful here and yet we are so conditioned to use the past as a guide or navigation tool, that it almost feels impossible.
When I think about what it would be like to live into who I am becoming, I begin to realize how much we live based on our past. Even sitting down to write this blog, I am aware that 99% of the time I write the article for my newsletter Sunday. It is a routine, a habit, and a structure. It is what I have done. It is based on my past.
When I began to think about what I wanted to write about, my first thought was “okay, what happened last week?”. I look to the past to decide what these musings will be about.
There are so many ways that we reference the past as a way to navigate the present or to direct us to the future. We are on auto-pilot. And you know what I realize? This is a good thing. It give us structure, safety, routine, even simplicity in our lives. We know the best way for us to do something because we have already figured it out. Our minds help us to establish habits and routine. They maximize our effectiveness in many ways and these habits are inherent.
So what I recognize is that “living as the me I am becoming” is less about the routines and habits formed in my past (initially), and more about letting go of the stories of the past that are not aligned with where I am going. The stories I tell myself over and over again that affect the choices I make in the present.
Here’s what I am talking about. I have ongoing stories I tell myself about how hard it is to be healthy at my age. How much easier it was when I was younger. I have another one that goes something like this; I have never had to market a business before. I have no experience and no idea what to do next. Or how about this – It would be so much easier if what I did was more mainstream! People would get it and I wouldn’t have to explain or justify it to them.., I am not even sure how to tell them what I do, they will think I’m woo-woo or batshit crazy!
These stories or limiting beliefs that I formed somewhere in my past keep me playing small. They allow me to hide. They are beliefs that limit what is possible for me, because I make choices about my present and future with them as the starting place. Before I even make a move in any of these areas of my life, I already believe it will be a struggle, a lot of work or impossible.
How freeing is that?
Living into who I am becoming means setting down the old stories that limit me. It probably means some habits and routines that I have established will likely have to be changed as well. It means finding and connecting with the most current version of myself and operating from there.
As I think about it now, I imagine that for awhile it will take some focus and maybe even some diligence. But eventually, by staying connected to who I am now and operating from that place, I eventually replace the old stories and memories with new ones. Shift some behaviors and routines with the goal of being present and leaving those parts of the past behind.
If you have old stories that you are telling yourself that are no longer aligned with who you are or who you are becoming. You might find it is worth thanking the time to identify them and then consciously set them down. You really don’t have to carry them with you! Whenever we carry the circumstances, events or choices from our past, we take on needless weight.., and I for one, am ready to take this load off!
With Light, Love, and Laughter
Great blog Charles. I always enjoy your articles and find something that resonates with me. I look forward to reading them,as you speak from your heart with no pretense. How refreshing! Thanx for continuing to do this as it must be difficult at times. You are there for more people than you realize and maybe that’s part of your purpose. Great job. Thanx for all you do
Thanks Ronnie… To read the words “speak from your heart with no pretense” and to absorb that they are a reference to me feels like such an honor. It is one of my strongest desires and of course something that I value in others too. You’ve made my day! Glad you are here!
thanks for the thoughts! I, too, need a weight loss plan for old ideas and memories. I ‘nurse’ them over and over and then wonder why I’m so stuck. I like the freedom I’m feeling of letting go. Your story today was of tremendous help recognizing it’s not that hard, simple and just start where I am. Right now.
I highly recommend keeping a journal and letting it reveal what wants to be known, expressed and released. I am finding it very insightful… AND now realize how “all over the map” I am. I have a tendency to think I will uncover ‘one’ thing that is going to make a difference! What I realize by journaling everyday is that there are many overlapping, shifting and complex things happening all the time. And, now I am aware of them. Still figuring out all the “what does this mean” stuff. Thanks for hanging in there with me AND best of luck starting fresh from exactly where you are DeDe!
Another beautiful post, Charles! Time for new stories, remembering how our “presence magic” can transform any situation into one of unexpected (perhaps) grace, ease and abundance! Together, “we one”!
Thanks Vikki. I have been thinking about ‘ease and grace’ a lot. I notice the aspects of me that have quite a bit to say about the challenges, the difficulty and even dangling evidence or proof from the past in front to me.., as a way of saying “it’ll never work”. So yes… Time to stay connected with and use “presence magic”. ????
Hey Charles, Have you taken the Landmark Forum? Sounds like it. Amazing experience… wonderful article ! Thank you.
No, I haven’t. Actually never heard of it!
Well I think you’d find you have expressed a great way of thinking and experiencing life as taught in the Landmark Forum program ! You’d probably really enjoy the program…visit http://www.landmarkworldwide.com There at the program the participants practice the art of transforming their lives via the methodology of creating possibilities ! Although, you certainly don’t “need” to go ! I felt like I was reading an article from one of their forum leaders. Again, great article ! –Laura
Thanks Laura! I really appreciate you sharing it with me AND the nice feedback!