OMG! I can’t believe how intense the last two weeks of July were! I couldn’t even write about it last week because of being in the grips of fear and truthfully.., a bit of shock! Storm Wisdom had it’s worst two weeks of sales EVER!
When I say ever… I mean even compared to the first two weeks we were open and hardly anyone even knew we existed. We were busier then! It was scary.
Of course when a cycle begins, you are not necessarily aware that something new has started. So one day where you have less than $20 in sales, you can shrug it off and assume it is some weird anomaly. After a week of questionable activity.., “shrugging it off” is a lot harder (at least for me!)
You begin to question everything. As you know, you can’t run a brick and mortar business with no sales. No sales means no payroll, no rent, no utilities, etc… You get the picture!
AND… Something similar was happening at home! It felt like our livelihood was being threatened! Yuck… I don’t even like thinking about it. And amongst all this, there was a definite pattern of bad communications. Not what was being communicated during this time, but old conversations, agreements or understandings were falling apart. What seemed clear six months ago was now a muddled mess. Once again for both Fito and me. It was a dark time.
And of course, if you consider yourself a spiritual magician and student of life, then you have to look at these blocks, challenges, ebbs or whatever, to determine what the lesson is. What wants to be revealed? What wants to be released? What has shifted? What new wants to emerge?
First and foremost, this brought up old behaviors, coping mechanisms, and responses that felt like they were long gone. Fear, anxiety and worry among them. Not that I don’t experience these anymore, it is just that I don’t bask or soak in them – usually. That is an old pattern that I thought I had released. I withdraw and become defensive and begin to think about myself in a very selfish way. How do I protect or take care of ‘me’? When these patterns begin to emerge I can also become fatalistic. Which means I seem to spend more time only seeing the worst outcomes.
All of this was happening. And yet, it was also obvious that it was not as constant or intense as it has been in the past. I would have a knee-jerk reaction and then catch myself. I would begin to observe my old behavior and then look for a new strategy to counter-balance it. Rather than worrying obsessively, I would choose to let it go. Maybe focus on deep-breathing and bringing my attention back to my physical body, instead of playing mental gymnastics. Throughout these past few weeks I have been aware of old energies… and trying to meet them with new ones. Sometimes several times an hour! Sometimes it felt futile. However, there were many times that I experienced this with great success.
And isn’t this how we know we are on the right path? We learn so much about ourselves when what we think we know or believe is challenged. If we think we have mastered the lesson and the subject is now firmly embedded in our DNA, then the Universe gives us a chance to know and embrace this. The more firm we are in our new understanding, the greater the opportunity to claim or revise it.
If I have learned anything from writing this weekly newsletter, I know that it is common that while I am going through something like this, there are others who are dealing with the same thing. It makes sense when you think of it from the perspective of Nature, with her seasons, cycles and and natural ebb and flow. Many of us are in the same rhythm. This is why I have chosen to write about this, when there is a big part of me, that would like to forget the last couple of weeks of July!!
You see, if you have been going through the ringer too; it is important to acknowledge how you have grown and changed from the last time you experienced something similar. Like me, there may have been many opportunities to revisit and respond in old ways. However, when we are able to shorten the length of time we are mired in ego, or release the grip of an unhealthy emotion, or remember to bring ourselves back to center, or see the other side of the coin; this is success!
The goal is NEVER to eliminate these emotions from our life experience. Our thoughts and emotions are part of being human. Yet the more comfortable we become in moving with, releasing or integrating constricting emotions; the more our life shifts toward what we are intending. And isn’t this what we really want anyway?
With that said… Thank God it’s August!
With Light, Love, and Laughter