The Dance
Life these days is feeling like a dance and I am the dancer. It is a piece I have been training for all my life and I am singular in my focus. I want the people in my life, who represent the audience, to like me and appreciate my talent. I want them to enjoy and/or be moved by my particular interpretation of this dance. Just as important to me, I
want to enjoy the dance, especially since I have chosen the stage, the props, the lighting, the music, costumes and
style of dance. Let’s face it… This is my show, this is
my dance.
There are several reasons this analogy stands out for me at this time. The first is I am more and more aware of how many of the choices for this dance (or my life) are for someone else…
No one has asked me to perform a particular dance, although there are many who have shared their thoughts or ideas about what they felt would be ideal. Some completely from the perspective of how much they love and adore me and wish only the best. To the critics or naysayers who somehow manage to also be part of the audience I have gathered.
Either way, when it comes right down to it, I realize that regardless of what anyone else in my life may have wanted to see me perform~it has always been up to me to make the final choice. If I chose a piece that somehow fulfilled someone else’s dream, instead of my own… That is still MY choice. Even when the reason it was chosen was because it was safe and expected or perhaps bold and daring!
As the dancer I can’t hold the audience responsible for the routine I have chosen. If I choose a popular style because I know more people will want to see it… That is a common way of choosing material to work with… right? More people means more success… right?
My point is the reason this is coming up for me now is that I am keenly aware of how much I allow others to influence how, what, when and where I perform the dance that is my life.
Even typing these words on the page made me think of the layers and layers that each one of us goes through in making the choices that affect our day to day lives, and how many of these originate in our subconscious mind. We incorporate ideas, attitudes, beliefs and materials that we are not even aware of into our daily decisions. As dancers, we incorporate these, mostly silent, instructions into every routine and practice.
However the other thing that has made this dance analogy stand out for me is that I can feel the power and passion for what is becoming my dance. I am moved by what I know is possible, what I know I can do. It no longer matters (at least not as much) what the audience thinks or wants. I am lost in these moments where the years of training and discipline, usually under someone else’s tutelage, have now lead me to the point where someone’s choreography is not necessary to know when, where, what or how to move or dance.
There is a sense of freedom that is in the air that feels something like that expression “dance like no one is watching”. As each of us finds our solid stance during these turbulent times, we discover that when we move with the elements and what is true for us in each moment, our dance becomes personal. It no longer requires anyone else to enjoy it, as it is our own unique expression.
I may have sore knees and feet. My lower back sometimes aches. I even have some old costumes that I should have thrown away. However when I look at what has become my dance, what has become my life… I am passionate about it. And even with a few calluses and bruises… It is exactly the dance I want to be dancing. Not because it is what someone else wants or expects of me~because it is what brings me pleasure!
And Isn’t that why we dance? So go ahead…”busta move”!