Why is it so hard to receive from or ask for help from others? What do I mean? For many years I’ve always found it more comfortable to be the one giving or offering help to others. I’ve found it uncomfortable receiving gifts, compliments, and help. How about you? For me, it’s always been easier to be the one giving. In my client practice; relationships with other practitioners, friends and caregivers giving seems to be much easier than receiving for many of them as well. It’s more common than you might think. Why is that?
I feel like I’m much better these days about receiving but I notice there are times when receiving a compliment, for example, I’m still uncomfortable. In fact, I feel my body tighten up a little. Does this make sense? So I decided to do some inner reflection and see what insights would come up.
What I found are words that came up first. Control, independence, obligation, being strong, and image to name a few. Whew! Let’s explore them a little bit because I know that holding on to these words and the energy behind them can get in the way of being authentic. Words have power! I asked myself, “What do these words mean to me? What power have I given them?”
I believe that control can be an illusion. By that I mean that I have learned that the only thing I control are my choices and how I respond to the choices of others. I can’t control others. Through the years I’ve given a lot of power to “control”. So, I’ve chosen to let go of the illusion of control. I’ve made a choice to let myself be open to receive from others. I’m practicing more and more! LOL
I realize that I can still feel strong and independent when I let myself receive from others don’t you think? It’s not a sign of weakness nor does it mean that I’m obligated to reciprocate. When something is freely given that’s it. It’s given freely whether it’s a compliment, smile, an object, a healing touch, words of encouragement, a meal, or something else. Does this make sense? If I want to give then I give freely without expectation of something in return. This feels good and is freeing. Have you felt this way too?
How does image play in all of this? How often do we do things because we think it’s “expected”, we want to “please”, or we’re keeping score so to speak? What will others think of me? Where does all of this come from? Certainly for me it comes from societal norms, how I was raised, and a deep seated desire to “fit in”. These days my intention is to become more and more of my truer self which is Source and LOVE!
Releasing these old beliefs, habits and perceptions can be challenging at times but once they are released it feels good! Again, practice works. At least it has for me. Delving deep within myself so to speak helps whether it’s through intention, meditation or prayer. I find in my own practice it can be shocking at times and eye opening! The inner work is something we often avoid and I find there are lots of ways to distract us. I’ve been known to procrastinate too! LOL The key question I always ask myself after reflecting is, “What am I willing to change?” In this case, “Am I willing to become more and more vulnerable and remain open to receiving more?” I am.
What I realize is that receiving a gift from someone can be a gift to the giver, right? Whether it’s a smile, object, kind word, meal, or something else. It doesn’t matter. Why do I want to take that joy away from them? It’s really a two way street isn’t it? Sometimes we give and sometimes we have opportunities to receive from others. It’s about balance as most things are in our lives. How about you? Are you comfortable and willing to receive as much as you are to give? What are you willing to change?
If you would like to connect I can be reached at VictoriaBarna.com.