Think or Feel?

Are you a “thinker” or a “feeler”? Years ago I was asked to notice how many times I say, “I think and I feel”. It was an eye opener for me. I found that when I communicated I said, “I think more than I feel”. I was encouraged to begin to lean more into feeling. I’m not saying to stop thinking! For many of us it’s how we process. My journey of being more in touch with my emotions began at that point. So why am I sharing this with you now?

Since then I’ve learned that emotions are what’s real and suppressing them can often create disharmony in our physical bodies. Having spent many years working for an international company I learned it was more acceptable to use logic and reason when expressing myself. My “thinking” self developed very large muscles, so to speak, and in turn carried over into how I always communicated! Until I was asked to notice how many times I said “I think” versus “I feel” I was unaware.

Once again, I was reminded this week how important it is to express how I feel after reading a quote from Maya Angelou who said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” I sometimes listen to Today’s Country on Pandora and it came up again when I heard Ed Sheeran singing about feelings through his lyrics, “How would you feel. . .?” I know there are many artists who sing and write about feelings and I’m sure you know a few. Hmmm. . .think or feel?

As I sat with this I asked, “Is there something in me to be more aware of regarding how I feel about things? Am I enjoying the full richness of the emotions I experience or am I still suppressing them? Have I become more comfortable feeling and expressing emotion in my life?” Whew, I don’t know about you but sometimes I find feeling and expressing emotion can be difficult to do. I feel I’m getting better at it the more I do it. Does this make sense?

Does it really matter one way or the other? I guess this is something for each one of us to decide. For me, I’ve noticed a difference. At first I felt uncomfortable changing how I communicate. It didn’t happen overnight. In fact, I’ve found that the more comfortable I feel with me I allow myself to communicate from my heart and I connect with people in a different way. It feels deeper. I feel more vulnerable and real. In a way, I feel like I’m more exposed. People have told me that they notice a change especially in how I write. It’s been a journey of consciously choosing to change the way I communicate. That’s how it begins!

Don’t get me wrong. The change doesn’t mean I don’t think about things or use logic and reason to sort out choices I want to make. There’s a place and time for both. How about you? How do you communicate? Is it more from “thinking” or “feeling”? I would love to hear from you!

On Tuesday, May 14th, Gisela and I will be offering healing with the amazing and powerful Messengers of Light at Storm Wisdom from 6:30p-8:30p. Space is limited so don’t forget to reserve your space now!


  1. Perfect…great communication Victoria! My feet have been on this earth a long time and it’s taken me a long time to learn to come from the heart and stay OUT of the head where ego distorts things. I’ve also learned that we are in the PRESENT MOMENT when we are feeling and coming from the heart.. And it’s in the Present Moment that we have our power…we are living NOW. And when you come from the heart with another person….you are truly honoring them
    There’s great peace in this.

    • Beautifully said, Donna. Thank you. It’s taken me a long time too! Living and being in the present moment really is all there is. Heart-based living presents a new way to BE. I think of it as looking through the lens of love. Reclaiming our power, returning home to love, and letting go of the illusion is what it’s about!

  2. YES!!!! “Letting go of the illusion is what it’s about”. I’m working on that one…because that is tough when involved in a “romantic” relationship
    when all these expectations and conditions appear and all one can really do is LOVE and allow things to flow.

    • Staying present and in the moment is so important as you said earlier, Donna! It helps to lean more into acceptance, compassion and Grace as we become more self-aware knowing that for anything to change we must first change.

  3. Years ago I was excited to hear a communication coach articulate it so well, “Remember, feelings don’t lie.” Yes, primary emotions and our feelings can be useful guides to awareness and action.

    • Yes!! Thank you for the feedback Kixx!


Leave a Reply to Donna Sommers Cancel reply

%d bloggers like this: