Living a spiritual life can be daunting! How is that I didn’t know or see this coming? It feels a bit like bait and switch sometimes! It is as if I signed up for the ‘easy, breezy, love and light’ life… And got the ‘wade through, reach for, assembly required with no instructions’ life instead!
To be clear, when I say spiritual life, for me that means following my own internal guidance (insight, intuition and senses); aligning mind, body, and spirit; while feeling a connection to All-That-Is. Living a spiritual life means having a sense of responsibility for everything that is created, happening or is present around me. Knowing that I am authoring the story of my life.
With this in mind, I have spent the past 10 – 15 years developing tools and skills and new methods to navigate this journey. Slowing down my thoughts, looking for patterns, connecting with emotions, developing trust with my senses and the ability to discern the energies of the people, places and circumstances that present themselves. It also means uncovering old or limiting beliefs. While incorporating new information and experiences. It basically means being conscious or aware of what is happening around me.
Shouldn’t this be easy? Live in the moment; Breathe; Be aware..?
OMG…, then why does it feel as if I am wading through quicksand at times?
If you follow my musings, you probably know I have been in this weird place of not knowing what is next. I have been feeling the discomfort of the unknown. At the same time, rather than doing something (anything!) for the sake of doing.., I have been trying to simply “BE”. Be present, wait for clarity, trust the process.
This is SO MUCH HARDER than I ever imagined! I want to fight it every step of the way.
It makes me question everything! You see, so much of what ‘feels’ right, doesn’t align with my physical senses. You know, what I am seeing, touching, tasting, smelling and hearing! When I consider how much easier it would be to navigate life using just my physical senses… I wonder why wouldn’t I just choose that?
Why not bulldoze my way through some of these current obstacles and simply take or get what I want? I’m smart. I could figure this out. Create a strategy, a plan. I know I could, because this is what I did for most of my adult life. I could power my way through the unknown and create something new!
The problem is that when I used to simply power through with brute force.., I created lots of situations, circumstances or things that were not very satisfying. Once they were created, I had to look for the next thing.., then the next thing. They were not bad things I was creating, in fact there were a lot of good things. They just didn’t feed my Soul. They weren’t fulfilling.
I had a hunger or a longing that could not be satisfied by only using drive or determination.
I have come to realize I need the balance and alignment of my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual body in order to create from the essence of my Soul. To create from the heart. And it is finding and staying in this place of balance that I am finding to be challenging right now!
It is not that it is impossible. It is that it is uncomfortable. And most of us try to avoid that! In conversation with a friend yesterday, she said (paraphrasing) “When I realize I am uncomfortable, instead of trying to get past it, I sit and connect with it, to see what is really there.”
This is when I realized that I actually chose the journey that came without instructions. The one that did not include the diagram of what the end results would look like. The one where you need to figure out what tools you need along the way. I chose discomfort simply by choosing this adventure called life.
I am right where I am suppose to be.., and sometimes it feels daunting.
With Light, Love, and Laughter