“Everything happens for a reason” and “Things happen ‘for’ us and not ‘to’ us” are both beliefs that I hold dear. They help me navigate day-to-day ups and downs. And most of the time, this is easy for me!
Then.., there are days when it’s not!
I can always tell when I am invested in the outcome of a situation looking a particular way. Especially when it is not going the way I planned, or think it should. There are visceral sensations in my body. Tightening in my solar plexus, tensing in my jaw, nervous energy in general, etc.
These are my cues that I am clutching to or trying to control an outcome that is not up to me.
I know these sensations well and the monkey-mind of trying to reframe, negotiate, or even begging and pleading to get my way. I go from relatively sane to a tense mess and it seems all semblance of time becomes distorted. Things are either happening too fast or time is standing still.
And then I remind myself that “everything happens for a reason”.
I wish I could say that I am automatically restored to the enlightened being I aspire to be. But usually by the time I am caught in one of these loops it takes more than one self-reminder to achieve normal operating mode again.
But there’s a benefit to all of this too. I am reminded of the journey of self-awareness I’ve been on. I can recall the younger versions of me who would have been derailed or thrown-off for an extended period of time. I remember that any time I am trying to control an outcome, it usually means I am worried about how I will be or am perceived by others.
It is this latter awareness that informs me I am caught in the game of image and identity. The desire to be perceived by others a particular way. Even when I’m not even sure who the “other” is!
For me this is the insight I need. I’ve played this game of trying to be something more, different, better, etc before. It doesn’t work for me. This clarity helps me to remember once again that things happen for me and not to me.., and they happen for a reason. Even if I will need some hind-sight to comprehend or understand their purpose.
In the meantime, I think will start with quieting my mind and releasing the tension in my body, while I lean into trusting my beliefs.
(BTW… I used our 5 minute meditation on “Staying Present” to help me with this last part. Feel free to check it out here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4m-96e8AOAI&list=PL8yLZa6FDc4PjvKHqryrpQpKbNDSQgKfI&index=3 )