Lately, I’ve been noticing how certain words sneak into our conversations and thoughts—never, always, should, shouldn’t—and how much power they quietly hold.

At first glance, they seem harmless. Familiar. Maybe even helpful. But these words can carry more weight than we realize. They often shape how we think, what we believe about ourselves and others, and the choices we think we have to make.

“You should do this.”

“I always feel that way.”

“He never understands.”

These phrases slip out easily. But more often than not, they carry a kind of finality—closing doors instead of opening them. They suggest limits where we might actually have freedom. They often reflect beliefs we’ve inherited, not ones we’ve chosen.

Sometimes they’re just a shortcut, tossed in without much thought. But language matters. Our thoughts matter. And when we tell ourselves we can never do something, or that we should always behave a certain way, we’re sending subtle but powerful messages to our unconscious mind.

And those messages stick.

But here’s the truth: We have the ability in every moment to make a new choice. Even one we’ve never made before.

When we slow down and really listen to the words we use, we may start to hear echoes—voices from our past. A parent. A teacher. A well-meaning authority figure. And maybe they picked it up from someone before them. These patterns can travel generations, unquestioned.

Is it possible that we’re still doing certain things a certain way—not because they work for us, but because someone long ago said we should?

We are each unique. That’s one of the most important things about being human. So why let unconscious language limit our self-expression?

What would happen if we softened those absolutes?

Instead of:

“I always mess this up.”

Try: “This has been tough for me before, but I’m figuring it out.”

Instead of:

“I should go to the gym.”

Try: “I want to feel stronger—maybe the gym could help.”

Subtle shifts. But sometimes, they make all the difference.

So here’s a gentle invitation: Notice. Notice when those words creep in—should, never, always. Ask yourself if they’re really true, or if they’re just habit. Then ask what else might be possible.

How about you? Have you noticed these words showing up in your life—or someone else’s? What might change if you chose different ones?