Where Do You Find Peace?

“If you cannot find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else.” ~ Marvin Gaye, Singer, songwriter, record producer Chaos seems to be ever present right now with no sign of letting up any time soon. In addition to the ongoing COVID-19 crisis I was so sorry to hear about the death of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg this week. Her courage, perseverance and belief in fighting for women’s rights, civil rights, and equality for all is remarkable and she will be missed. I’m reminded that now, more than ever, is a time for each one of us to remain centered and focus on positive and peaceful outcomes.  I know at times you may feel overwhelmed and when you do please remember to take a few deep breaths and bring your awareness into your heart space. Imagine the spark of hope and unconditional love are yours to connect with from here. Feel it. Cherish it. Allow yourself to relax and let the calm move through your body. Remember, peace begins within.  Finding peace in the midst of chaos might seem challenging. Once you begin practicing it becomes easier and almost second nature. Being aware and conscious of when you aren’t centered and feeling peaceful is part of the practice. When you aren’t or feel overwhelmed ask yourself, “Is what I’m feeling mine or coming from somewhere else?” Many of you are sensitive to other energies and are empathic. Recognizing what’s yours and what’s not is important. If it isn’t yours then ask to release all that’s not yours! Imagine how much lighter you will feel. Do you feel...

My Time

Last week I wrote about Treading Water.  About how exhausting it can be to keep your head above water when you are not sure which direction to take.  I was really hoping that this was going to be one of those quick cycles that moves in for a few days and then is gone. Instead, when I talked with my Astrologer and Spiritual Guide of the past 29 years…  I got a different perspective and insight. The fear, anxiety and worry that had me in its grips last week, although seemingly about the state of my business, was really about me.  They are part of the transitions and evolutions I am going through.  And guess what… they will likely be with me for the entire year. But this year is not about being in a state of constant worry or fear… it is about energetically being willing to stay connected to my own truth.  What I know about myself.  Who I am in the world.  And being willing to stay present and open to what is happening in the moment, so that I can be in the flow. UHGGGG… this is NOT what I wanted to hear.  I wanted it to be easy.  I wanted it to be a quick challenge and then back to my beautiful life. Which of course is the point.  We are not confronted by challenging emotions because we need to experience hell.  NO…, we experience these emotions to help us understand ourselves better and to embody the internal strengths we have developed on our journey toward self-awareness.  To live from our highest potential.  To...

Comfort Zone

Everything changes. I’ve known this for years. And yet, sometimes it still surprises me. We plan for change or expect it when we experience major life events or experience. When we change jobs, get into or out of a relationship, move or experience a birth or death. We know change will occur then. But sometimes it just happens in our day-to-day existence. When nothing in particular seems to be the motivating factor. We are navigating our comfort zone, only to realize our comfort zone no longer fits. I am experiencing this awareness on both ends of the spectrum. There are amazing new people, opportunities, experiences and things drawing me toward them… At the same time, there are others that are disappearing or I am no longer connected to. I am having a hard time relating to somethings, that a short time ago, might have seemed like solid part of my comfort zone. They are slipping away. As I reflect on this phenomenon today, I have a theory. I have been reminding myself (and the people around me!) to ‘follow the energy’. To stay attuned to what feels right, aligned, joyful or fun. So my theory is that if we follow the energy, our own energies morph. It is a bit like the particle and the wave. When a particle is observed, it becomes a wave.., just by the act of being observed. To relate this back to “following the energy”; when we focus on and watch the energy… it shifts our state of being. We move from being a particle to a wave. We are changing based on where...

You’re Right Where You Belong – In a Funk!

It seems we are always talking about ‘shifts’.  Many of us relay our sense of the transformations that are occurring.  Just this past week there was a beautiful Blood Moon eclipse that was suppose to shake up the old and usher in a new wave of being. It occurs to me, that sometimes this can mean, it feels like we’re in a funk!  At least that is how I want to interpret it!   Shift or transformation subtlety implies that we have moved beyond an old situation and are now navigating in a new one.  It is likely that there is a different stage that some of us are experiencing or feeling.  I know this is true for me.  This stage is the liminal.  The in-between. We can experience this in different areas of our lives.  With relationships, spiritual journey, careers, health.., you name it.  But we can also experience this sense of the liminal internally.  How we identify and define ourselves.  And it is this internal review process that is currently being triggered for a lot of us.  Well, let me just say.., this is what is happening for me right now. But what does this mean and what does it look like?  This is where the word ‘funk’ comes in. When you have this sense or feeling of being in a state of transformation or transition~yet have know idea what this means or what is next.  You feel an energetic shift, but there is nothing in your physical reality that you can point to that helps define what you are sensing or feeling.  You are probably in...

Casey & Brian – No Stress!

My niece Casey and Brian her new husband are visiting this week.  A getaway vacation and honeymoon all rolled into one!  And although she has been here once, it is Brian’s first visit.  Their lives are so different than mine, which a lot of that has to do with the age difference.  But there is also raising a blended family with three boys all around 4 to 5 years old! That is something that I cannot even begin to imagine. We’re having a lot of fun and interesting conversations.  But the one that really stands out for me is about stress! Casey mentioned that she gets headaches a lot.  She’s not sure why.., but they occur almost daily.  Brian say it was probably stress.  However, from Casey’s perspective her life is low stress. I am inclined to agree with Brian! What is interesting is how we all minimize the stress in our own lives, even though it appears to be so easy to see it other people’s lives.  Raising kids has to be stressful and they don’t even have to be in the same room or house with you!  Oh and BTW.., it doesn’t go away when they turn 18!  Every parent I know still worries about their children, regardless of how old their kids are.  The parents may hold back their opinions, insights or guidance (unless asked for!).., but that doesn’t mean they don’t have them. Then besides raising kids, we have partners or spouses, parents, siblings, relatives and friends who most of us are invested in or worry about.  Jobs, money, health, and relationships.  Yet, because these are...








The Conundrum of the Dos and Don’ts

Have you ever noticed how sometimes the do’s and don’ts of life seem to be in conflict with one another? It is one of the traps I find myself in quite frequently. I go back and forth internally about how to balance or accommodate both. Here is my example. We all have situations that come up that upset us. Maybe they make us mad or we feel offended. Perhaps we feel shamed or dissed (dismissed or disrespected). Regardless these situations trigger an emotional response for us. So then we are confronted with the conflicting do’s and don’ts. For many of us we are taught that we are suppose to turn the other cheek. Or, maybe in our pursuit of personal and spiritual growth we are told that we create our own reality and it is all a reflection… So we should look for and find the Love and Light in these situations. What is the lesson? The idea being that we are suppose to be positive and take the high road. Spiritual people are always kind and loving.., these situations shouldn’t bother us, because we are more evolved than that. At the same time, we are also taught that unexpressed emotions and repetitive thoughts that are unresolved cause stress and are stored in the physical body. Over time, the pattern of storing these unexpressed emotions or thought patterns become denser and create blockages with the systems of the body. They are the cause of many of our ailments and/or illnesses.., or at least they make us more susceptible to disease. So, this inquiring mind wants to know: If we...






Be Here Now

It seems like for many years I was searching. Searching for clues. Searching for direction. Searching for knowledge. I became use to the energy of pursuit. Exploring, revealing, gathering, and integrating information on the purpose of life. Why are we here? What are we creating? How do we make the most of what we have in front of us? What inspires and motivates us? What is the essence of our relationship to All-That-Is? And suddenly the searching stopped. I remember making a conscious decision about 2 years ago to stop looking for “something to complete me”. Something that would make me “whole” or “better”. I realized that I had collected enough information and insights to be who and how I want to be in this lifetime. Now it is simply a matter of choosing to “BE”. That sounds easy doesn’t it? Simply be who you want to BE. But we are human. We have thoughts and feelings. We have beliefs and values.., biases and preferences. We are complex and we are complicated. So a “simple” solution is not always easy for us! It goes against our nature. We value complicated and complex. So much so that simple and obvious are easy to overlook! Instead of trusting what we already know, sense or intuit, we continue to look outside of ourselves for answers. Even after a long and often arduous search for something new to explain, define or solve a problem or situation, points us back to what we already knew.., we still continue to search. It seems to me that part of my fascination with and propensity for searching...




No Labels!

Tim Cook, CEO of Apple came out this past week. Being someone in the public eye, this meant he wrote a press release for this announcement. Like many well-known people who “come out”.., he was already out to his family and friends. This means his public coming out was for the rest of us. On the one hand I love this because it sends the message that you can be authentic AND successful, to the people who struggle with esteem around their sexual identity. Especially young people who are scanning the horizon looking for role models and inspiration to inform their own self-acceptance process. At the same time, this announcement creates a label for Mr. Cook. It puts a banner on him that will be used to identify and describe him to the world going forward. It is as if we need these adjectives or labels to sort out which category someone belongs in. And of course depending on each of our own perspectives, we determine if the new label is positive or negative. Millions of people now have a ‘positive’ view of Mr. Cook and what he represents to them. Personally, I fall in this camp… As I loved his statement about his being gay being one of his “greatest gifts”. At the same time, millions of others see this as ‘negative’, because it means he is now associated with something that for them is unnatural, wrong or bad. And let’s not forget the majority of people to whom this will be a completely neutral experience. They won’t give it a second thought. His announcement does not create...




Don’t Tame Your Strange

It is not unusual for me to be in a state of contemplation. I find myself wondering about the world around us and how we will ever shift and change the course of destructive patterns that appear to be leading us to our own demise. I realize that much of what has lead us here to this critical point in time, is not new. In fact we have been destroying the environment for over 150 years in the name of progress. We have been hurting and killing each other for even longer… Thousands of years of conquest, pillaging and devastation. Usually in the name of God. We have given away our power and authority to slick and fear-based marketing. We have access to so much knowledge and information, and yet we only pay attention to what is projected at us though the various forms of media. What someone else thinks we should look like, wear, drive, aspire to, or desire. For the most part, we have become lemmings; drowning in our own polluted waters. These times of contemplation are heavy. The situation seems dire. At times I think “What’s the point?” Yet there are other times I feel hopeful. During these times of seeing possibilities or ‘light at the end of the tunnel’; I realize it is because I have disconnected from our consensus reality. I am in a state that many would call “magical thinking”. Where we are more informed by the energetic information and signs that are all around us; than by what is physically right in front of us. I feel as if I am part...




Lessons from a Course in Marketing

One of the benefits of participating in a marketing program for socially-conscious entrepreneurs is that it has me slow down and really think about what I am trying to create; why, how, where and with who. Many of us have ideas or concepts of what we are creating in our heads. We even have a sense of how our heart feels. But there is an amazing power in writing these thoughts and feelings down on paper. (Okay.., in my case typing them out digitally!) I have had this awareness that things were shifting and changing rapidly on the planet for about the last 10 years. I realize that this is not really a long time for those who have been attuned to the planet and her people for decades. However, it seems to me, that many of us began to sense that something was up and we began to hear the call to something new. A new way of Being. Mind you, this does not mean I understood what this awareness meant, or where it would lead. It simply was a sense that something was different. The people, places and things that use to seem important, started to feel more malleable. What use to feel important, suddenly became okay, but didn’t offer the motivation or passion they had before. I was sensing the energetic shift around me, and the shift was changing me. It affected how I interacted with my day to day world. In the early stages of becoming more aware of the shifting energies, it felt personal. It felt as if it was happening to me. I...




Perspective Upgrade

I just started a 12 week program for Social Entrepreneurs. It is for small business owners and sole-preneurs who want their marketing to be aligned with their conscious intentions and done with the same integrity as the products or services they offer. I am thrilled to be part of this program with approximately 450 entrepreneurs and change-makers from all over the world. AND.., this is no easy-breezy program! We are just in our second week, and I am wondering how I will keep up! It is content heavy and there are lots of things to complete. Not quick things, because each one requires that you contemplate and put into words your dreams, desires, ideas and challenges. This is a program that works you! The way it is structured uses a private Facebook group, where the majority of participants are posting updates, status, questions, concerns and accomplishments. So it is interactive and a bit overwhelming. Think about several hundred new friends all actively communicating with one another from every timezone around the world! I feel this amazing connectedness to them already and yet, you can’t possibly see everything that is being shared. What I am noticing the most right now, in this early stage is how much ‘perspective’ plays in our day-to-day lives. I have always felt like I had a clear vision for what I wanted to create with Storm Wisdom. At the same time, I have also felt challenged by how to communicate that. How to let others know and how to develop the marketing around that! From my days in the corporate world, I knew I would...




Control What?

Every year, for the past 26 years, I have had an Astrology session for my birthday. It is a great time to slow down the crazy-making in my mind and get connected with the natural energies and cycles of life. Having a conversation with someone who works with the tools and has the intuitive insights to help me see these cycles has been a huge part of my personal process, and dare I say growth. When I step back from the circumstances of my life and look at it through this perspective; I am reminded that there is always an ebb and flow to life. There are ups.., there are downs. Some last an hour, some last a day or two, and some are with us for months! As you probably know from following my blog, the past few months have been a little disorienting for me. Sometimes it feels like a time of contemplation. Other times, it feels like I have lost my motivation or inspiration. Sometimes I am content, then there are the days where I am impatient and antsy. During this weeks session, Jolinda, who has been my astrologer since the year I turned 30, reminded me of something that somehow I seemed to have forgotten! We are not here to learn how to control the circumstances of our lives.., we are here to learn how to respond to them! I don’t know about you, but I really needed to hear this right now! On the one hand, it is so obvious and apparent. There are situations that come up these days that no longer affect...




Personal Authority

I have been contemplating personal authority this week. It seems to me that a major part of becoming more self-aware, includes taking back authority for our own lives. It is not uncommon to discuss the need to feel a sense of responsibility for what we create in our lives. Yet, there is little direct conversation about our authority. Or maybe there is, and I am just not exposed to it. Here are my thoughts on this. When we are young, we are dependent upon our parents. We are not equipped to make choices for ourselves. We lack the experience to navigate the world around us, and so they instruct, guide, discipline and teach us what we need to know to be safe. Siblings, babysitters, other parents also play a role. Teachers, religious and spiritual leaders, schools and churches.., even social groups and sport teams begin to shape and inform us. As we get older and more independent, we seek counsel from doctors, lawyers, accountants, technologists, therapists, and many others in specialized fields. We start to engaged in politics, current and social events. Media plays a huge role in our lives, from advertisements, programs, reality televisions, pop-up promotions, social media and the news. We rely on ALL of these to help us navigate this thing called life. Some of it feels right. Some makes us uncomfortable. Some, is simply part of the noise. AND, on top of that we are all unique. So no two people have the exact same experiences, influences and circumstances. Even twin siblings who appear to be exposed to exactly the same thing. We may be...




The Gift of Community

Community is on my mind. This past Friday, Phil Blank was leading our weekly meditation, playing the didgeridoo. It is always an amazing experience, but there was something special about this evening. There were over a dozen of us there for this meditation experience, many who I knew, a few who were new to me. Yet the predominant feeling was we were all connected. The didgeridoo, being an ancient instrument with a very primal sound, sends waves of vibrational energies across and throughout your body. Sometimes you feel it pulsing along your thighs or legs. Another time, arms or shoulders. It moves around. Yet regardless of where you are sensing and experiencing these sensations, you know you are being bathed in healing sounds. Phil usually brings the groups focus to the breath. As he says, “not only is it part of our life force, it is also something we continuously share”. And that was the feeling coming out of this meditation.., we were all sharing in the same experience. More than just this one meditation.., we were sharing our journeys. On this Friday evening, we all aligned, and came together in this space, at the same time. In the aftermath of the meditation, the sense of this sharing or being part of community was palpable! There was commonality, yet for many of us, we only knew a bit of the story of those who were gathered. It was not about where we work, how many kids we have, or any struggles or accomplishments we were experiencing. We simply showed up and allowed ourselves to unite energetically. To be a...




Chance in a Storm

Last night, we stood outside watching the Lightening and electrical shower that was all around us. It was intense, powerful and mysterious in it’s unison with the wind and eventual rain. It was a small example of the magnificence of Nature. A reminder that we are visitors on this planet and not the ones in charge! It is impossible for me to experience thunder and lightening, without thinking of our dog ‘Chance’, who died just over a year ago. He was playful, obsessed with a ball, and a very sweet Welch Corgi. He was more interested in you throwing him the ball (endlessly), than he ever was getting patted or cuddled. His brother Archie is the one who wants all the attention. Except… During a thunder storm. . . . . . . It seemed that Chance would always know when a storm was approaching, even before the sky revealed its intentions. He would disappear into the master bedroom closet where there are no windows or doors to the outside. He would stay hidden until the first crack of lightening or roar of thunder. Then he would be next to me wanting to come up into the chair with me, so that he could bury his head in the arm of the sofa, wedged between it and me. I would have to pick him up to get him into this position, because his little legs were shaking so. And this is where he would stay until the storm had passed. And mind you, neither of them, Chance or Archie normally get up on the furniture. It was also during...




Now Observe This!

They say that one of the ways to become more self-aware is to develop the skill of being the Observer of your own life. To witness yourself in action and instead of being attached to the actual event or experience you are having; allow yourself to be an impartial onlooker. Let’s say someone has just made a dangerous move in traffic, right in front of you. Not only are you surprised, you are likely angry and frightened by this close call. If you are in normal operating mode, you may react with intensity. You swear, send gestures, maybe scream at the driver of the car long gone. In ‘Observer’ mode, you are still surprised. You may even feel the anger. However, instead of going into full anger, you witness it. You contemplate the incident and begin to put things in perspective and context. Instead of screaming at the driver or going into road-rage, you calm yourself. Your anger never takes over. . . . . Learning to be an Observer of your life, is not something you do just for the heightened emotional situations. It is helpful during the mundane and ordinary times as well. As a matter of fact, the more you become a witness to your thoughts and emotions, the more it becomes a natural way of Being. This does not mean you don’t have thoughts and emotions, it simply means you are aware of them, and as a result, you influence them, they don’t control you. Observing your own reactions, behaviors and thoughts or emotions changes them. It changes you. Much like scientists have discovered; witnessing...




Know Your Impact

There is something going of inside of me that wants to be known. I can sense it, feel it, and sometimes, almost see it! Sometimes it feels like a new discovery is about to emerge. Other times it seems as if an old friend wants to be revealed or remembered. Perhaps it is a combination; the synergy of old and new coming together to create a different, blended experience of who I am and what is going on around me. Let me start by saying that Gisela has been in Germany for the past two weeks. This means I have covered the front service counter at Storm Wisdom 4 or 5 days. It was kind of fun and kind of cool. Mainly because I got to remember what it was like to balance a cash drawer, reconcile daily reports, add inventory to the system, schedule appointments or events; and of course, assist friends and clients who visited on those days. It was nice. However, by the third or fourth day, I was also aware that it is not my role. It is something I can do and even something I can do well. However, my time for holding the energies of that role has past. Others have claimed it and that feels right. This awareness has me then think about Storm Wisdom in general. One thing that I was keenly aware of, is how different it is energetically today than it was a year ago, two years ago, and especially five years ago. In the beginning it was me. Trying to figure out how to complete a transaction or...

Celebrating in Style

I can’t even pretend to be thinking about anything except our 5th Anniversary Celebration! It was SO FUN! We were in celebration mode all day! People stopping in to share well wishes, hugs, love and support! Conversations, laughter, congratulations and well-wishes everywhere! There is a lot that goes in to pulling off a party for 200+ people! And I am surrounded by wonderfully supportive people who were constantly volunteering to assist with any possible detail! My friends visiting from California who helped decorate the entertainment area and stage. Millie setting up and tending the bar along with help from her daughter Morgan. Stephanie and David decorating the Oasis room, Victoria and Paige dressing the outside tables, Fito and family setting up (and taking down the food tents). My sister Cheri and her friend Lisa that were visiting from Maine, for collecting tickets, handing out gifts and and assisting with the grab-bags. Any so many more who stepped in, when and wherever they saw a need. AND the Amazing Gisela who was the first to arrive and the last to leave. She runs the show everyday… But for events like these, she is selfless, dedicated and turns in to a German Wonder Woman! I am not even sure how she does it as she is non-stop! Amazing! We had the same caterer as the last two years, Alma, who does amazing authentic Mexican food. Brady who owns and hosted the photo booth, from Phoenix Photo Booths, made the night special with fun accessories and a positive spirit. I can’t wait to see all the copies! Paige who manned the guest...

Solo Retreat: Day 1

Today is my first day at Spirit Sky… A solo retreat for 6 days.  The cabin is located in Pine AZ… About 20 miles beyond Payson.  I have never been in this area before.  It is quite beautiful.  It is a much higher elevation than Phoenix (approximately 5500ft), which means it is cooler here.  Today when I left Phoenix at about 11:30am, it was already about 90 degrees.  The temperature when I arrived here at the cabin, was about 74. It is not what I expected, and it is still perfect.  Somehow I had imagined being in a location where no one was around for miles… Isolated on a hilltop.  The truth is… It is 4 acres on a hilltop that has a home being built about 50 yards away, and one roofline just over the crest of the hill… And a cabin/home that is not quite visible below. I think I imagined in my mind that the isolation would intensify the experience.  It would offer a level of freedom that would allow me to tap into some primitive or untapped energies.  A vision quest of sort… Out on the land, surviving in the elements and by my resourcefulness.  AND… the truth is, that is not what I am doing.  I am spending a week, in a comfortable cabin, with amazing views, surrounded by nature (I saw my first deer coming up the drive… And my first elk shortly after dinner, right out side the cabin!) I come with very little.  I kept trying to sneak in projects… And you have no idea how much I wanted to bring...

Solo Retreat: Day 2

I slept well enough last night.  The bed is probably a bit soft for my liking.  A little before 6am I got up for a bit and went outside to enjoy the cool morning.  Very peaceful at that time.  Still, it felt like I could still sleep some more.  The next time I awoke, there were two elk wandering the property.  Not as close as I would like… But still a beautiful morning sight. There are benches all around the property.  The one that I am most drawn to is across the drive on the knoll.  It is placed inside a cluster of small alligator junipers.  So it is in the shade most of the time.  Today, the breeze is beautiful.  Fresh air, cool breeze and just the sounds of nature to keep me company. On the one hand it is peaceful.  On the other, I wonder what I will be doing for my time here?  Moving from bench to chair, to rock to bench?  It is odd not having something to do.  Some place to go, something to prepare for, something to get done. I guess in some way, this is similar to a day off at home.  Except at home, I have things to read.  News on my iPad…or games.  Music to listen to. Laundry to get done.  There are distractions.  And… Sometimes it is similar.  I am simply existing. This morning I laid out a crystal grid for the day.  This one was focused on Authenticity.  Mind, body, spirit, Love, joy, clarity, compassion, strength, vitality, ease, grace and spirituality.  It will be up until tomorrow morning…...

Solo Retreat: Day 3

This mornings grid is for “Fun”.  The components are confident, stimulating, guided, flowing, foundational, natural, abundant, prosperous, mind, body, spirit. Initially when I awoke, I was feeling as though maybe I was sinking in or settling into this solo retreat thing.  However, as the day wears on, I think instead maybe it is my mind, or more accurately my ego, playing a game with me. I find myself having thoughts about how I have already got what I needed from this experience… And perhaps it would be okay to go online… Maybe download a book.  At one point I was thinking about exploring Pine. It took a bit for me to notice what was going on and to realize that this is uncomfortable.  I am not sure what do do with myself, if I don’t have something to do.  I can even find resistance to the mundane or chores… Folding my clothes, making the bed, that sort of thing.  It is as if there is a voice inside my head saying… You can’t make me! It is interesting to catch this… As I think this is something that happens all the time.  Our egos are resourceful… And they have different tapes or recordings they can pull out when the current message begins to lose its affect, keeping us in line or, from the egos perspective, safe. For the last two days I have been very aware of (because my ego has been talking to me about) my weight, energy level and health.  Today… (The message from my ego is that) Everything is fine and I don’t have to stick...

Solo Retreat: Day 4

My crystal grid this morning is for Harmony.  The components these crystals represent are Harmony, entrainment, flow, spectrum, balance, steady, ease, elegance, negotiation, uplifting and resonance. Today my retreat is starting out as a bit of a surprise.  Even though I have tried to remain open for what this experience would bring… I realize I did have a few expectations or assumptions. I thought by giving myself this time, I would sink deeper into myself and start to see or recognize patterns, triggers, behaviors and such.  You know, the ones that make life complicated or seem to get in the way of me having things the way I think they should be!  Boy, is that a mouthful! However, my experience is just the opposite.  I find it hard to focus on anything… It just doesn’t seem that interesting!  My mind wanders… However, it doesn’t go to what is wrong… Instead, my eyes are drawn to beauty.  There are much more than elk here!  Now, don’t get me wrong… I don’t think this is a bad thing.  It just seems like maybe I spend to much time worrying about the wrong things… Actually anything! Even as I write these words, I realize I spend a lot of time trying to control outcomes!  Here there is nothing for me to control.  If I want to sit by the stream, I do.  If I want to lay down, I do.  If I feel like making some notes on my iPad.., guess what?  I do. Now mind you I still have a few days here and plenty more could be revealed.  However… Nothing...

Solo Retreat: Day 5

Crystal grid for today is “Releasing Anger”.  The crystals represent the following… Discovery, comprehending, contemplation, expression, learning, savor, own, release, breathe, allow, adjust. I went to sleep last night knowing that there was something brewing.  Something that wanted to reveal itself, that had gone unnoticed.  This morning, I think I know what that is and it the reason I chose the particular grid for today. This may be a bit had to convey properly, because I don’t want to leave you with the wrong impression.  So let me start by saying up front… I love being gay and I love the Spiritual Being that I am. Yet last night, I was aware that I was angry about both! The other thing that I realized as I sat with this, is that when I trace the anger back or try to find who I am angry with… It is God.  Which of course makes me aware that in this instance… I am thinking of God in the Christian sense.  Old bearded white guy sitting on a throne somewhere. So this is my first clue that this anger is being held by my adolescent-self.  And he doesn’t think God played fair!  Life would be so much easier if I didn’t have to deal with being gay, or connecting to my spiritual journey in a unique way!  If I could just look and be like the majority… If I could conform… If I fit in… Life would be easier! I think one of the things that reminded me of this was yesterday I was doing a video blog.  I heard myself say,...

Solo Retreat: Day 6

I am going home later today.  The last crystal grid here at Spirit Skies is “Contentment”.  The crystals in this grid represent Contentment, breathing, relaxation, joyful, peace, stability, belonging, communication, decisive, and beauty. It is interesting to be thinking about leaving.  There are parts of me that are ready and can’t wait to be back at home with Fito, my amazing husband, our dog Archie and to just sleep in my own bed!  There is so much I appreciate about my life… Perhaps even more as a result of stepping away from it. There is also a part of me that is in fear that I won’t be able to hold on to the piece and tranquility I have found this past week.  That some of the clarity and resolve that was found so easily here in nature…, will be lost in the day-to-day grind that is our lives. Just sitting with this today makes me aware that once again, my mind wanted to make this retreat a destination, and not simply part of the journey.  I can see how I had invested a lot of energy into thinking that this retreat would “change” everything that felt out of alignment.  That my problems would be solved and I would have clarity of direction. The truth is… We all probably need to give ourselves a week, once a year to de-stress!  We need to find a way to slow down, check out and let our minds clear.  This is not a destination… This is PART of the journey.  The gift of time to ourselves is priceless. I leave here more...