There are great quotes, messages or inspiring thoughts about how to approach a new project or goal, that at the start, might seem overwhelming. Such as “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” by the Chinese philosopher Laozi. However, right now it feels like that first step is so daunting, that I feel a bit frozen.
I have been thinking about a new personal endeavor for awhile now. I have the bandwidth, desire and know what I want to create. I have some experience with portions of this new dream. I am not starting from scratch. Yet, even though what I want to tackle next, is perfectly aligned with what I am already doing. I am stalled. Treading water. Procrastinating.
What do you suppose causes us to do this to ourselves? I know I am not the only one.
I know many people who are actually contemplating major changes. The projects or goals they are being called to, require career, relationship, location or significant lifestyle changes. So in someways, I feel fortunate that what I am contemplating is not major in those ways. Those kinds of changes create the “unknown”. Something that most of us have some fear of.
And yet I am resisting.
In fact, I am making it much more challenging than it needs to be. I am the one turning it into a thousand mile journey!
I wonder if my biggest resistance is about ‘intimacy’. As I try to find the words to write this down, I realize this new journey will require a new level of self-exploration. A deep-dive into beliefs, attitudes and perspective. The funny thing is self-exploration is something I value. It is the essence of spirituality.
So it is something that is important to me AND I am resisting it at the same time.
We humans are so complex! Conflicting thoughts, emotions, ideas, beliefs. If you can name it, we can complicate it! But what is the payoff for complicating or delaying something that we know we want to do?
I guess it brings me back to the unknown. Fear of change. Fear of messing with what we already know. Even when what we know is not what we want. Giving up the known is hard, when the exchange is the unknown.
It is the paradox of life.
I wish I could tell you that as a result of writing about this I was ready to take the first step! I might be closer… but I am still looking down the road. A thousand miles still seems like a long ways!
With Light, Love, and Laughter