A Thousand Miles

There are great quotes, messages or inspiring thoughts about how to approach a new project or goal, that at the start, might seem overwhelming. Such as “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” by the Chinese philosopher Laozi. However, right now it feels like that first step is so daunting, that I feel a bit frozen.

I have been thinking about a new personal endeavor for awhile now. I have the bandwidth, desire and know what I want to create. I have some experience with portions of this new dream. I am not starting from scratch. Yet, even though what I want to tackle next, is perfectly aligned with what I am already doing. I am stalled. Treading water. Procrastinating.

What do you suppose causes us to do this to ourselves? I know I am not the only one.

I know many people who are actually contemplating major changes. The projects or goals they are being called to, require career, relationship, location or significant lifestyle changes. So in someways, I feel fortunate that what I am contemplating is not major in those ways. Those kinds of changes create the “unknown”. Something that most of us have some fear of.

And yet I am resisting.

In fact, I am making it much more challenging than it needs to be. I am the one turning it into a thousand mile journey!

I wonder if my biggest resistance is about ‘intimacy’. As I try to find the words to write this down, I realize this new journey will require a new level of self-exploration. A deep-dive into beliefs, attitudes and perspective. The funny thing is self-exploration is something I value. It is the essence of spirituality.

So it is something that is important to me AND I am resisting it at the same time.

We humans are so complex! Conflicting thoughts, emotions, ideas, beliefs. If you can name it, we can complicate it! But what is the payoff for complicating or delaying something that we know we want to do?

I guess it brings me back to the unknown. Fear of change. Fear of messing with what we already know. Even when what we know is not what we want. Giving up the known is hard, when the exchange is the unknown.

It is the paradox of life.

I wish I could tell you that as a result of writing about this I was ready to take the first step! I might be closer… but I am still looking down the road. A thousand miles still seems like a long ways!

With Light, Love, and Laughter
Charles

8 Comments

  1. Charles…thank you for sharing what you are experiencing. My experience with “procrastination” is that sometimes it’s a requirement…to allow the new project to simmer on the back burner of my mind for longer than I might have originally thought necessary. It may not actually be “procrastination.” It may be your creative spirit taking time to gather the energies together so you can forge ahead. I would suggest it’s all positive…all good! Allow it to flow!

    Reply
    • Wait… that can’t be.., that would mean…, could it be..? You mean I might need patience? Not on my own timing? Set down control? These are all to familiar Susun! πŸ€“πŸ‘. Thanks for sharing your insights!

      Here is to right-timing!

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  2. Charles, you are writing my thoughts and feelings so accurately, it is as though you are inside my head and heart. I discussed this exact dilemma with Luma, deeply desiring greater intimacy with my (the) muse and being terrified of it at the same time. Her recommendation…when experiencing paradox, stand between, stand between.

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    • Birds of a feather Vikki! And I think Luna’s advice is timely. Although standing in the liminal can sometimes feel very disorienting too! Sooner or later, we’ll both jump! πŸ™‚

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  3. Dear Charles, as you identify with one, or many of the possibilities that you perceive are keeping you treading water, you become that. Remove all labels and know that you are God – a creator. Now your small egoic self won’t like this for it thinks it needs an identity to control; so it fights to keep you small and limited and needy = doubtful and fearful. So state with passion you desire, turn it over to your soul/god self, relinquish any expectations as to how, then watch wonder bloom in its own time.

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    • Thanks Joseph

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  4. Charles, your words are so timely in that I too am struggling with “the stall” in moving forward. It’s almost as tough I’m afraid of losing control, getting so caught up in making something real that I’ll lose what’s important to me now. I know, it’s confusing – wanting to create something new while holding on to what has been. I experience the paradox you mention and can clearly feel myself caught in the middle, paralyzed and stagnant in the in-between place. Perhaps, perhaps this is where the learning lives and, like you say, requires patience, PATIENCE!!!! Hummmm.

    Reply
    • Now you know we will need to have a cluck-down and conversation over our shared state of being Mary! πŸ™‚

      Reply

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