Happy 2019! I hope your holidays were beautiful and fun. It seems like every year seems to fly by faster and faster. Whew! How many of you have felt stuck, lacked clarity, or knew you were at a major change point in your life? I hear this often with clients that I see. I’ve experienced all of these at different times in my life. In fact, not too long ago I felt like I was having my 40 days and 40 nights in the desert but for me it lasted a couple of years!
Recently I was talking to a very dear friend of mine about this who is going through his time in the desert. This experience happens in different ways for everyone as we journey into more and more personal growth, awareness, consciousness expansion and conscious living. For me, it wasn’t very comfortable. Why? I was so used to doing and creating things that when I felt my inspiration and creativity stop I didn’t know what to do.
During this time I took my website down because it no longer felt like an energetic match. I wanted to create a new one but I didn’t know what to create. Everything seemed wrong! I checked in with my astrologer periodically, who is wonderful by the way, and she would say, “It’s going to be awhile before it becomes clear and anything you create now you most likely will want to change later.” That really wasn’t what I wanted to hear!
This time truly was a gift in disguise even though I didn’t realize it at the time. In fact, I resisted it. I’ve learned through the years that patience isn’t one of my greatest virtues! LOL
Once I embraced the truth that this time was meant for my personal inner growth as well as integration of new awarenesses and experiences I became more comfortable with it. I learned to tell dear friends who asked why I wasn’t writing, “I can’t write unless I’m inspired and it’s from my heart!” Creating new classes stopped! There were days I just wanted to read a book and felt guilty about it! I wasn’t creating anything! Another friend invited me to change my perspective. She said, “Rather than feel guilty why don’t you honor and value the creativity of the author you are reading. Enjoy!”
Navigating my days/years in the desert, so to speak, was an experience of learning patience and spending time with me. Learning how to accept ME and become more comfortable with BEing and not doing all of the time. It gave me an opportunity to be clear about what makes me happy and how to be of service from my heart and not out of duty or obligation.
Don’t get me wrong. During this more introspective time I still engaged with family, friends, and clients. I didn’t withdraw from life. This time provided a new and different way for me to experience life. It gave me an opportunity to revisit the self-image I had nurtured for so many years in Corporate America and allow a softer and more compassionate me to emerge. Layers of resistance and wanting to please others shed. It was like a heavy weight lifted the more I became comfortable with my truer self. Does this make sense?
My website is up. I’m inspired and writing again. I’m offering channeling evenings with Luminus monthly. Gisela and I offer healing with the Messengers of Light monthly. I see private clients. I accept me! And I’m having fun!!
Don’t hesitate to take the opportunity to explore YOU when you are invited to spend time in the desert!
If you would like to contact me please go to VictoriaBarna.com or you can respond to this article. I see clients at Storm Wisdom on Tuesdays from 1p – 6p and I’m available by appointment by phone. Join Gisela and me this Tuesday, January 8th, for Healing with the Messengers of Light from 6:30p-8:30p at Storm Wisdom.