These days it seems as if most of my energies are directed towards letting go of something that I created in the past! Whether it is a painful memory, an emotional wound or a limiting belief; it seems they insist on being released, forgiven and forgotten!
Don’t think this means I am being intentional about selecting these experiences or memories. Instead, out of the blue I realize I am mentally reliving or remembering them. Sometimes in my remembering or recalling of these life events, I am mentally reliving them in a new way. I get to say what I wanted to say or I stop the interaction before it goes to far. In my mind I am altering the past.
Yet, it is not the mental gymnastics that is important here. It is that I realize that some event from my past is up for review. I can sense the part of me who wants to win, come out on top or avoid the sorrow or pain altogether. It is during the awareness of the replay that the realization comes to me, that this is a situation that is up for healing.
By running the stories over and over in my mind, I use to think I was gathering resources for the future. Preparing myself for the next time I had a similar encounter. Or.., even more likely, building a wall around my heart or emotional body in an attempt to protect it from ever having one of these experiences again.
These days, I still need my mind to create the distraction and bring the experiences forward. But not to be lived over again. Instead, as soon as I catch what I am doing, I silently say to myself, “this experience is up for healing”. Then I reach for compassion, sympathy, gratitude, acceptance, or any emotion that feels appropriate for the memory, yet aligned with who and where I am today. I soak myself in that emotion, with the intention of keeping all the value of the situation, while letting go of any pain or hurt. I forgive myself and anyone else involved, and recognizing that we did the best we could with the circumstances that were presented and the skills or tools we possessed.
I know that these memories and the original experiences were catalysts for personal growth. At one time, I thought struggle, hardship and pain were the most viable options for expansion. And although they still represent one way to navigate life, these days, I prefer a gentler path to self-awareness.
When I pay attention to ease and flow, things happen so much faster for me. So then it stands to reason that when and if it feels like I am hitting a wall or am stuck in the muck; I stop, look around, find where there is natural flow of energy; then move in that direction!
At the same time, we are a conglomeration of our life experiences. The past is meant to be a backdrop. It is the scenery that is behind us. We were never suppose to try and carry it with us! Setting down these heavy or burdensome memories is a very liberating way to free ourselves from the weight of the past! Then we simply get to carry the essence of the lessons learned.
These days when I catch myself reliving painful or emotionally challenging memories… I imagine that when I forgive, release and heal them, the load I am carrying is lighter. So much lighter that I get to move into the flow of life without a huge backpack (called the past!) stuffed with dead weight, strapped to my shoulders! Okay… I love setting THAT down!
How about you? Got anything that is up for release and healing! Holding on to that stuff requires strength that could be used for creating something new! So trust me, you’re gonna feel amazing when and if you decide to drop that excess weight!
With Light, Love, and Laughter
photo by: www.moillusions.com