There are times I wonder if I will ever find balance in my life. This is one of those times.
I guess I’ve known for years that I have a tendency to get extremely focused on one thing at a time. This was especially true when it came to work. I loved solving problems and figuring out solutions. Give me a project and a deadline, and I was in my element.
Of course my mind thrived on the stimulation and it created a feeling or sense of purpose. It didn’t hurt that I was good at it, so I also loved the recognition or attention that came from it.
It wasn’t until the project or problem was behind me, that I would realize I had stopped exercising and my body was feeling off. My preferred activity at the time was running. So I would start training for for a half marathon. I would put all my focus on building my stamina and endurance.
By the time, I completed the event, I would realize I had not seen my friends for weeks. Between work and training, something had to give. But hey.., I had reached my goal. It seemed like an okay trade off at the time.
It wasn’t until I was in my forties that I realized how much I prioritized and even compartmentalized my life. It is also when I first recognized that finding balance in my life was challenging for me.
Now a days, I don’t think of it as being out of balance with work, exercise, or family and friends. Instead I think of being out of balance mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Most of us have a default comfort zone. We of course all think, feel, move, or reflect everyday. But there is usually one of these, where we feel most at home. Mine is mental. Give my mind something to chew on and I can be quite content.
The problem for me is that this is SO comfortable for me.., it is easy to forget other aspects of my life that are just as important. I shut down or at the minimum suppress my emotions. (I will deal with those later!). I make food and exercise choices I wouldn’t if I was paying attention. (I need to grab something quick to eat… or I don’t have time for a walk right now…). And self -reflection and awareness takes a back seat.
Until it doesn’t.
The fact that life-balance is something I strive to create with greater ease is not new information. Figuring out how to find that balance is. Still.