Limbo

I have been feeling like I’m wasting time. I have about three weeks before I leave. It seems as if I am just waiting. In the meantime being in this state of limbo, seems like watching the clock tick.

Limbo is uncomfortable. It goes against most of the messages we are given about who and how we’re suppose to be! We should be DOING something!

I am amused by this, as I have been focusing on staying present for almost a year now. Yet the more I think I am present, the more it also feels like I am waiting… for the future to arrive.

How do we simply stay in the moment without our minds playing games? How do we experience now, without triggering emotions?

On the one hand it feels like I should be getting prepared. I should be packing, shopping, taking care of details. But it’s too early to pack.., shopping for what.., what details..? My mind is on full alert… and wants me to hurry up. And wait. For what?

This is an exciting time. So many circumstances are aligning perfectly for something new to emerge. And there is nothing for me to do about that. I don’t need to rush it along, fill the void, pre-plan my experience. It just is.

So I am practicing being in observer mode.

Watching how my mind tries to stay busy. Paying attention to the emotions that ebb and flow. Witnessing my beliefs, attitude and values reveal themselves. All, while hanging out in limbo.

Sometimes I think this time is confusing. Other times I think it is chaos. I have even had moments of thinking it is challenging. Simply because there is nothing for me to busy myself with.

Then I imagine what it will be like to spend three months in a country that has a more relaxed approach to life. A country that has its own pace. One that is very different than the one we live in.

My life is full with loved-ones who come from a culture that is more laid back. Loved-ones who at times I struggle to understand, because they seem to operate in a different time and space. Loved-ones who I sometimes think didn’t get the memo about how much “doing” has to be done!

And in the quiet of this limbo, a thought emerges. What if the culture of an entire country is aligning to help be more present. To live more in the moment? To allow time and space to exist with out trying to control, master or manipulate them. Yes, studying and learning a language. Not by doing it… but by being a part of it.

And maybe that process has already started… and because it is so new to me… I call it limbo.

With Light, Love, and Laughter
Charles

6 Comments

  1. Yes!! Thank you for the reminder Charles..being in “observer mode”. Love that!! The limbo stage deserves love and respect too!! 🙌🏽❤️

    Reply
    • Now I want to choose from ‘observer mode’ versus just watching and then wondering why!! Thanks for your support Denise!

      Reply
  2. 20 years ago I took a 10 month sabbatical after leaving a successful biotech company….I had stock options to afford me not working. I was in a spiritual discovery mode….but one of the things a friend & life coach of mine had me do was this “hours of nothingness”. I was so used to ALWAYS doing something, so this not doing anything was huge challenge. However I learned a lot about myself and how to be at ease with just observing things. I think we all could “ease off the gas pedal” more in our lives and just enjoy being. =)

    All the best on this part of your journey.

    Reply
    • It sounds like it was valuable and timely advice Michelle… Thank you for sharing it with me! Great analogy too!

      Reply
  3. Every thought is a choice. Every word we choose is a reflection of where our thoughts are at/coming from. You chose LIMBO, you could have just as easily chosen ‘just being’ or flux, or …. Could it be that LIMBO is your state of mind, the place where the Head/Ego Mind is still not sure whether to surrender/relinquish control to the Heart Mind – the God self? It knows why it should but the unknown of jumping of the cliff into Oneness where it loses its identity/separation is so unfamiliar that its legs are frozen even though the brain is sending the signal to jump. The Ego fears surrender because it does not recognize yet that all it is surrendering to is LOVE – its God self, its heart, it’s ALL That Is_ness. LIMBO is just a simmering point before the boiling point (where action will take over). Enjoy the simmer and know the best is yet to come.

    Reply
    • Well I’m not sure every thought is a choice, but every reaction to a thought is for sure… 🙂. And you’re right Joseph, I chose the word limbo…. and it probably is a big part of the state of my mind… sometimes chaos, or bliss, or confusion, or awareness, or… etc… My mind wanting to figure it all out. Which of course there is nothing to figure out or do. Therein lies the rub. Who am I if I am not doing?

      Not everyone is attached to an identity… but a lot of us are. Even when we are trying not to be. Our identities are usually attached to what we DO.. not who we are BEING… There is so much happening in the simmering.., that I can’t begin to fathom what the boiling will bring. And as much as I am enjoying this time.., I am also profoundly aware of my resistance to the unknown.

      Thank you for always being encouraging. Maybe soon we’ll have the hindsight of the boil!

      Reply

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