Mind Game

The awareness of how much things are shifting for me right now continues to be revealed. Last week the calmness in the midst of chaos was quite evident. This week it is about setting down the illusion of control.

When I look back at the various times of my life, it is evident that I spent a lot of time trying to control outcomes. Sometimes, feeling like I was having great success. I imagine this is common for many of us ‘mental’ types who tend to run multiple thoughts per second.

Add to this flurry of rapid mental gymnastics, the natural proclivity to live with your thoughts in the future, and you have the perfect recipe for a smug sense of winning or achievement! “Yay…, I got my way!”

As time passes, our lives unfolds in their own unpredictable ways! Most of us end up realizing at some point, that life happens.., while we are busy planning a different version. The idea that we can manipulate, negotiate and control our way through it (unscathed), is either the ego’s arrogance or naiveté!

It’s been a number of years now, that I’ve been aware of the futile nature of “control”. I am clear that plotting, planning, wishing or praying that my stealth attempts at getting my way via some mental super power, is pretty much a waste of time!

BUT.., that doesn’t mean I stop doing it! Instead, now I call it “setting intentions” or “envisioning what I want to create” or “going for my preference”. Which, by the way, I actually do those things too. Yet, this is also how I have been trying to sneak-in some good old ‘control’.

However, for the past few months, I recognize when I am moving into the patterns associated with control. I feel it. I observe the part of me that wants to know and control outcomes. The aspect(s) of myself that wants a guarantee or predictable end result.

I also recognize how this mental activity almost always takes me out of the moment. How there is always a story…, which is often driven by worry or fear. Frequently with a demand for perfection.., an indicator of some internalized shame. (Can you say “Performer”?).

The good news is – I feel like I am recognizing and shifting myself out of these patterns much sooner than I use to. I recognize when I am trying to control the illusion! And in those moments I can make a different choice.

I love it when those things we are working on and that appear to be ongoing lessons, simply drop into place. When they no longer feels elusive. When we recognize a new way of Being with an old challenge or Achilles’ heel! That is how it has been feeling when it comes to the illusion of control!

I know this doesn’t mean I will never be seduced into playing the control-game again.., but I am hopeful that I will sense or feel the heavy resonance of control sooner, and simply release it instead of turning it into a mind game!

With Light, Love, and Laughter


  1. Charles, I too attempted for many years to ‘Win’ at the control game, only to once again realize the only thing I truly had control over, was the way I perceived any given situation. It took me a while ( guess I am either a control freak or slow learner), but now I do my best to just surrender into the feelings, and recognize that this is only temporary. The illusion of winning vs losing is something that society has and continues to promote. But even after I supposedly won, that was short lived. That too was only temporary, with another battle to win on the horizon. It was exhausting. I still occasionally find myself wanting to prove I am right, but hopefully that will eventually recede into only memories of my education here on earth. Great article!!

    • Thanks for adding richness to this conversation Linda… you are so right about the exhaustion of realizing that in order for our attempts at control and winning, you have to stay at it constantly. I know I will see this monster raise its head again.., and each time hopefully for a shorter time! I so appreciate your support and input!

    • Charles. It took me a long time to turn over control to Spirit and the Universe. They know better than I do what my goals were before I came into this life and promptly forgot everything. So, I now spend my time watching my life unfold and wonder at how impeccable things are each day. I even enjoy the pleasant surprises that pop up and am pleased knowing somehow that it was part of my plan here. I have also discovered that without putting my energy and focus into planning and controlling I have much more time to notice opportunities when the come my way. And, am delighted how perfect the fit in with what is happening in that particular moment in my life. Some of this skill simply has come with age. It is true, the older we get, the wiser we are if we allow it. Love your newsletters.

      • Everything you’ve said not only rings true, but also feels like something to aspire to Almoth. I especially like the idea that when we stop putting all our energies into planning and controlling, we actually notice the opportunities that come our way! Thanks for being here and for your support!

  2. Great Blog, Charles. We come into this world with all our GIFTS and perceive the world in all it’s WONDER and we ARE in the PRESENT moment. Then outer attempts at control happens…by our parents…our associates and Society in particular so we lose the GIFT of just BEING. I feel we have come a distance in our journey when we do and can OBSERVE what we are thinking and doing when it comes to the “illusion of control” This has been the challenge for me for a long time but I feel I, too, am progressing in that the “observer” comes into play for me more often than before. I feel very blessed that you have provided this wonderful community of seekers on the path to remember who we really are!

    • Thanks Donna for sharing your insights. I keep realizing this journey is simply one step at a time. There are no miss-steps, Only opportunities to remember. Thanks also for always being so encouraging.

  3. Love this article Charles! Just excellent. Thank you for your words..they’re true gifts!

    • Thanks Denise for the nice feedback! Way to make my day! 🤓

  4. I feel that reading your posts is like pulling a tarot card that I do every morning. Is confirming what I know and need to do some times getting the same card ok I get it.
    Donna you are so right we come into this world full of wonder we have our spirit guides (imaginary friends) by our side then we are told no grow up do this do that. I felt I did not really belong felt different, now I am comfortable in my own skin being different is ok. I was lucky that my Grandmother was a wise woman and guided me well. I spent more time with my Grandson when he was very young so I was able to guide him. I am rambling Blessings to you Charles.

    • What a sweet analogy Christine and Miss Bella… Thanks for that… and for sharing your story and insights!


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