Seven years ago this weekend Fito and I had a beautiful ceremony to celebrate our commitment to each other. It was intimate, honoring and heart-felt. It was, and always will be, the most important day of my life!
And this Tuesday, September 3, 2013 at 6:30pm, on our 7th Anniversary, we will be getting (legally) married! We are doing this in California, as our home state still does not offer or recognize marriage equality. And yet, in this moment, it seems inevitable that someday soon, Arizona will!
There are so many things that could be said about the politics of marriage equality. But that is not what this is about. This newsletter is about Love.
I have had a full and blessed life. I have been able to do and create so many amazing experiences. And if you think I have been fortunate… You should see what Fito has been able to do and create for himself!
Yet, when you find the Love of your Life… ALL of this is easier and more joyful. The loving relationship that two people create is it’s own entity. You both remain independent and whole, while you then give equally of yourselves to create this third aspect… the relationship.
The relationship gets fed through intimacy. The more we reveal of ourselves to one another, the more the relationship grows. Those aspects of ourselves that we thought we would be able to hide, find their way into the light. We are seen, known and loved for who we are in entirety. And we discover that some of our perceived flaws are actually beautiful and they add character and depth to who we are.
As intimacy grows, you recognize and realize that the armor and shield that you thought would keep you safe is no longer needed. That after years of carrying it, it actually has simply taken your strength, without making you stronger. You get to set down the illusion that your heart is weak or needs to be guarded. You understand the power that comes with the willingness to be vulnerable.
Communication becomes the the fuel that keeps love and your connection alive. Trust and honesty become stimulators and motivators. Fun and ease become a natural state of being. Companionship is part of the reward.
We are stronger because we love each other. Our love is the foundation that we stand on. And as of this week, we are taking it to a new level. Having a piece of paper that says that federal government recognizes our commitment to one another does not make us love each other more. However… Damn it feels good to be able to participate in an institution that even a few years ago, felt like it would never happen in this lifetime!
I love you Astolfo Licea… Thank you for being you. Thank you for being my husband!