I slept well enough last night. The bed is probably a bit soft for my liking. A little before 6am I got up for a bit and went outside to enjoy the cool morning. Very peaceful at that time. Still, it felt like I could still sleep some more. The next time I awoke, there were two elk wandering the property. Not as close as I would like… But still a beautiful morning sight.
There are benches all around the property. The one that I am most drawn to is across the drive on the knoll. It is placed inside a cluster of small alligator junipers. So it is in the shade most of the time. Today, the breeze is beautiful. Fresh air, cool breeze and just the sounds of nature to keep me company.
On the one hand it is peaceful. On the other, I wonder what I will be doing for my time here? Moving from bench to chair, to rock to bench? It is odd not having something to do. Some place to go, something to prepare for, something to get done.
I guess in some way, this is similar to a day off at home. Except at home, I have things to read. News on my iPad…or games. Music to listen to. Laundry to get done. There are distractions. And… Sometimes it is similar. I am simply existing.
This morning I laid out a crystal grid for the day. This one was focused on Authenticity. Mind, body, spirit, Love, joy, clarity, compassion, strength, vitality, ease, grace and spirituality. It will be up until tomorrow morning… When it will likely be replaced with another one.
I have done several meditations today. One with my crystal skull.. And one with a couple of crystal wands. Each one has started with a focus… Yet, have gone where they wanted to. I feel like the time in meditation is good, regardless of whether or not it ends up the way I imagined going into it. Somehow here, this place, this time… It feels like the pressure to have an experience during meditation is contrived. Maybe it is the “Authenticity” crystal grid, pointing out that a forced experience is not very authentic!
I notice that there are a couple of themes that are popping up. They are not fully formed themes… And they might even conflict with each other! One is that there is nothing for me to do, but choose what I want… No studying, no learning, no struggling to get it right… That this is what is all made up.
The other has to do with setting down the better-than/less-than crap I have been playing with since childhood. There is something in this one about being self-spoiled, to the point that I want everything to be simple, easy and my way!
Like I said… Not fully formed themes… No idea what to do with this information yet. However, I will see if something new reveals itself!
I did have a dream this afternoon where I got in to an argument and initially fired an employees. During the argument, stuff that had been being held onto for a long time was finally spoken… And it seemed that I was finally letting go of crap that had been bugging me for awhile. BUT… I woke before it was completed or resolved. At least in terms of whether I actually went through with the firing. It was pretty interesting to awake from such an emotionally charged dream, in such a peaceful place!
Amazing all the different ways we process!
This afternoon I got to watch 5 to 7 elk wandering the property and grazing. I say 5 to 7 because I could not see them all at the same time. They would be on different sides of the cabin in different numbers. It was fun. I am sure they do not see in the windows, otherwise they would not come so close. It is my favorite part of this location!
