Guilt Be Gone

You’ve probably noticed I don’t really edit my writing. It is a bit of a thought dump…, and if I really took the time to edit for grammar, punctuation and spelling, it would be too much of a task or burden. It would take me so long to “get it right”, that I probably would have given up on writing a long time ago. I do usually take one good look for those glaring mistakes – which I still sometimes miss anyway. The process is like this… I write…, I read it out loud to myself or Fito. Fix any obvious problems and then send it off to my trusty tech-guy Paul, who then gets it into the right template/format. When the entire newsletter is done, I get it back and do a review and approval… and send it off for publishing. What I found last week when I re-read the article (Ebb and Flow) after it was in the final format, was that I feeling ‘guilt’ while reading it. As if my present circumstances seemed too luxurious or like I wasn’t doing enough. I wasn’t “working hard enough”. Or maybe I was just being lazy. I have to say I was a bit surprised. I hadn’t noticed the guilt before that…, but once I did, I realize it has been there since I made the decision to step back and take this time for myself. So on the one hand I am thrilled about giving myself this time to be… on the other I feel guilt. These two are incongruent. They actually work against one another. The thing...